OK... a friend of mine said that she wants to introduce me to a girl, as she in turn was asked by her colleague to do this. I dunno if anyone here has any experience in this but last time when I was got introduced to a girl in this type of situation, it did go well but the girl was all over me just after one meeting and she damn hard to shake off (coz she isnt attractive) My friend showed me a picture of her and she is quite cute Well I said ok to her and my friend said she would arrange a date or something the coming weekend. You all here may think its something simple and happens all the time but I have something that worries me: she is 7 years my junior Well I'm from a HK family who emigrated to Aruba since I was 3 yrs old, btw I'm 27 now this girl is from mainland china in Enping coming here to Aruba with a 3yr work permits and been here almost a two years now I am feeling that she is just using me to obtain permanent resident by marriage as most mainland chinese here on Aruba have done. I know I shouldnt be have one of those ' Mainland vs Hongkongers' discrimination but just cant help stop thinking about it after reminiscing all those stories where the Mainlanders marrying only for money The process of dating the girl is not what I'm worrying about but can't stop thinking when she might have ulterior motives. I mean, I'm not good looking ( I'm quite fat). In terms financially, my family have quite a well known business on the island. I feel I am some kinda jerk thinking about this and you are all probably calling me a useless douchbag already but hey isnt this section of the forum is all about and havent we all been scumbag when we are facing some kind of dilemma in our past and present? So can anyone here give me some comments. Talk to me please.
Lol I found that a bit funny, nah after reading that I don't disagree with you thinking that way. Just see how things go and if the chemistry doesn't blend then try to cut her off by talking less or giving dead conversations.
her father is a construction worker dont think they are rich or anything or she prob wouldnt be working at a chinese department store I mean damn she is one 20 yrs old now, why will she date someone much older than her she could also date boys from her village too
i dont know...maybe i am just being negative here...but if she has a 3-year work permit and she's been there for almost 2 years...that means 1 year left on her work permit? correct me if i am wrong...but that sounds fishy to me already...with 1 year left on her work permit...just maybe...in some way she is trying to get a permanent resident card...cause who wants to live in China nowadays??? ....btw i am also from Enping LOLLLL coincidence?!?!..but hey i am a hater!...jking...
It's not HK vs Mainlander, most of my mainlander friends think of it this way too. Do what you like, not like theres only one girl in this world.
I've always though of this scenario as well!! lol do what you like and see if it works out. i just told myself at the end when they have to go back i dont stop them or do anything silly like get married. Do long distance and see how that goes. 7 years isn't that much.. she must like more mature guys
Whilst its prudent to be vigilant, you must not dissmiss opportunities to meet new friends, due to constant suspicions to their motives. All relationships..friends or love, should be built on TRUST. If you do not have this from the start then it kind of pointless to start any kind of relationship. I would not preset any ideas and enjoy friendship with her. From this you will have an instinct of her character, and if you can give trust to her or not. I always believe that we, ourselves are the best judges..if you are constantly worried about her motives, then whether its true or not, its not worth your worries, its better to just treat her as a friends only, cos it not fair to anyone to keep suspecting her..but make sure you let her know that nothing will develop..then move on to someone you have better vibes about..BUT my worries for you would be if you would ever find someone if you constantly think negatives?? Like you said, you are not just saying Hk vs. China..you seem to touch on residence, money of families, status etc. So your focus on her is what she "might" want out of this..but you have not focused on the main issue for yourself. Whether you actually LIKE her? If not then its very easy, and you would know what to do next. If you DO like her, then unless you want her to be your wife immediately, should you think about all the worries you outlined? Isn't these worries premature? She is just a girlfriend for now and you guys should just go with the flow, and let nature take its course. Getting to know her over time gives you the best way to judge..rather thanks to preconceive. You should only cross the bridge when you have arrived at the river.. Trying to cross an imaginary bridge whilst you are ground walking is kinda pointless.. I wish you the very best of luck!
hey robsh, Nice to see u post here .I'd really admire that u got the courage to express ur own real feelings. i want to ask you if you could really luv someone pure mentally or maybe you could marry someone just for love regardless?If your answer is yes, then congrats, you are a good and rite man.But from what you are telling and thinking , i do not think you are this kinda person. Firstly,A real lover wont shake off a gal just because of her look,and i do think you know whether you have a fabulous look or not as you referred above.Secondly, if you really meant to love someone regardless,you wont consider how rich the gal is, isntead you should know what she has inside of her,even you are sorta rich or ur citizenship or whatever,they are not gained by you, it was your parents.Its the way you born, nobody can choose their parents. So if u r not a serious lover even, please dont judge others before you even dont know them. tell the gal ur concern first,Cause if the gal is not a serious lover, then u have nothing to lose casuse you are the same.But if she is , please leave her alone. thx
Funny that you made a bunch of related threads... Call the girl? Date the girl? The next ones are gonna be Propose the girl? Marry the girl?
well everyone has different modivation for meeting people. It could be money, PR, job, succuss. But after you date them for a while like 2 -3 months. You can tell if she is the right one for you.
You live in a small island with 100,000 people. if 50,000 are female. And 20% of that 50,000 are in the 18-27yr rank, you got 10,000girls.. And since you are fat you probably have 1% to meet the 10,000. Which is 100. (in your life time) I'm just joking. Anyway you can be friend with the girls. I mean no one put a gun on your head to marry the girl.. and beside nothing wrong for 27 to date 20yr.
I remember once someone told me "In a situation like this, your best option is to do something that you won't regret" lol
