Was just wondering if you guys or girls ever compare yourself to other couples when in a relationship....for example, if your girl/boy friend said that this celebrity/person/whatever is hot/nice/cool, would you compare yourself to them or just take it lightly?
I don't like comparing myself to others but i know many girls who like to do that. i think it's more of an insecurity issue then anything. lots of girls like to bring up their bf's ex's for those very reasons. since this topic has come up, one of my girl friends is actually going through this right now with her bf. she says she has trouble trusting him. he's always telling her that "if you like someone, then you'll trust them" and she's begun to trust him a bit more but she's always worrying that he still misses one of his exs and always reminisces his good times with her. on the night that they went out together for the first time, he asked her to be his gf. that night, he was wearing this really pretty ring, but since then, he hasnt worn it again, but instead hangs it on some chain in his car? (i haven't seen it personally so not sure) honestly, I don't think it's that big of a deal, and I've told her that it isn't something she should worry about, but she says it bugs her every time she sees it.. She's asked him why he doesnt wear it anymore and he said it doesnt look good on him...she also asked him if she could wear it kuz she really likes it, and he said no, but that one day they'll go get a couples ring together..she's even asked him why this ring is so important to him, but all he said was that he just really likes it, ever since the first time he saw it.. Then one night, he asks her why she keeps asking about the ring..and why she still doesn't trust him..and that he cant change the fact that she doesn't trust him..and that she thinks too much.. before I was with my boyfriend, me and her used to hang out a lot so whenever relationship issues between the two of them came up, she'd tell me about them. many issues of trust have come up between the 2 of them and he's said once that she puts too much pressure on him by not trusting him.. i really think my friend's over-reacting, but no matter what I tell her she still feels insecure about her relationship with this guy. anyways, I was wondering if you guys could give me some tips on how to help her? i'm totally out of things to say!
Girls like to bring up the past so they can compare themselves with the guys' exs. personally, I don't like opening up the ex files...it's a cause for jealousy without a basis. What happened in the past should just stay in the past. Having said that, I'd appreciate it if my boyfriend didn't question about my exs either. Everybody still needs some privacy. Just because you're dating somebody, it doesn't mean you have to share EVERYTHING. He doesn't want to let her in on the past because the past is the past. She wasn't a part of it, so what difference would it make if she knew all the details or not? There has to be a reason why she's so skeptical about her man. He's given her very good explanations for things that she should just accept. The paranoia that she has will eventually put the relationship to the gutter. Trust is the foundation of a strong relationship. If you don't trust your significant other, I can tell you that the relationship won't last very long. If she can lose trust in her boyfriend just because of this, then she doesn't trust him to begin with. She's making a big deal out of nothing. If you hold on to sand too tightly, it'll slip right through your fingers, but if you cradle it, you'll hold the sand forever. If she remains a control freak, she will just drive everybody away. Now in response to the topic, I don't compare myself to others. There's no sense in doing so because everybody is unique in their own ways. It's a waste of time, and you stress yourself out over nothing. If I'm on a date with a guy & he happens to check out another girl, I wouldn't wonder why he was checking that girl out or why I'm inferior to her. I'd just deem this guy unworthy of dating because he doesn't give me the respect that I should have.
Yeah.....I agree with you also, but I'm having trouble trying to convince my friend to feel the same way. Anyways, she said that he's mentioned to her about his ex a few times before....
no offense... their would be some forms of way that you would compare yourself to others... compare yourself with other is no necessarily a bad thing... but depend the way you look at it... i compare myself with others and i'll try to improve myself... if u dont compare urself with other's.. how would you ever know what ur flaws are? you'll only always think ur're perfect but obviously... u would compare someone just a little bit better than you that you know for sure that you can improve urself in someone without stressing urself for no reason.... and comparing ur self worst then u is just plain stupid
I wouldn't be worried if her boyfriend talked about his ex once in a while, but when he talks to her about his ex more than anything else, then there's a problem. It's normal for somebody to talk about their exs...after all, it is a part of who he is now, no? Tell your friend not to worry too much.
I never compare myself to anyone because I am me. If everyone in the world is the same then life would be boring.
Trust me, I've tried EVERYTHING. She said she just doesn't want to get hurt and get played around with. She always has all these worries about him cheating on her and stuff, and honestly, it's starting to really bug me because nowadays, he's ALL she ever talks about!
Honestly, I don't think anybody likes being played with or get hurt. Your friend HAS to have some confidence in herself before she pursues a relationship. She has to have enough confidence in herself to know that the guy won't cheat on her & will be good to her. If she already expects that he's gonna play her, then it'll all just be a self-fulfilled prophecy.
