The high pressure from working in the entertainment industry was usually much much more than what was known in the public eyes. Fans only noticed the glamorous and attractive sides of celebrities, as opposed to their suffering. Much like many celebrities dealing with intense pressure from work, Fiona Sit (薛凱琪) suffered severe depression. She cut her wrist and became obsessive about committing suicide. Reflecting back, Fiona now understands that she had showed symptoms of depression since 2008. While filming movie, La Comedie Humaine <人間喜劇> in 2009, Fiona played a crazy character. She cried uncontrollably in her tearful scenes. Nobody realized that Fiona was taking medication to aid her depression while shooting the film. Fiona's appetite dropped and she no longer put any effort in taking care of her body. Fiona lived on half a cup of instant noodles each day. Her weight dropped significantly, down to 85 pounds. Slashing Her Wrists at an Attempt to End Her Suffering Thirty year old Fiona Sit joined the entertainment industry when she was 18 years old. Irrespective of Fiona’s successful music and film career during the last decade, her personal troubles became amplified in her own mind, spiraling down to an uncontrollable state. She thought living was no longer worthwhile. Her close friends disappointed her. She disliked leaving her house to face the rest of the world. “I always believed that I was a very pitiful girl!” Tormented by her mind, Fiona thought of different ways to numb her pain. She even cut her wrist. There was a time, where she swallowed sleeping pills and drank red wine. Thankfully, the amount of pills she consumed was not enough to get herself killed. Called Khalil Fong With Thoughts of Suicide One evening, Fiona had a strong desire to commit suicide. “I thought to myself, ‘Tonight I must die!’” In a freak out over the direction of her thoughts, Fiona quickly called close friend, Khalil Fong (方大同). Fiona said to Khalil, “I really have an urge to kill myself right now! Can you please stop me?” Although Fiona’s plea frightened Khalil, he responded calmly. Understanding that her emotions were incredibly fragile and that what he says may trigger something, Khalil spoke cautiously. He examined the situation with Fiona rationally, encouraging her to remain calm and to promise not to act on her suicidal tendencies. Later, Khalil quickly alerted Fiona’s mother of Fiona’s problem. Khalil asked Mrs. Sit to help keep an eye on Fiona to make sure she doesn't do anything harmful to herself. Although Fiona was first angered by Khalil exposing her confessions to Mrs. Sit, Fiona saw that Khalil acted wisely, showing priority for her personal safety first. Khalil recommended Fiona to position her issues into perspective. Khalil said, “Actually all of us have problems. But is it worth it for you to put so much negative energy into your problems? The world has many people who are in far worst positions than you are!” Fiona Finds Peace With God Although overloaded with suicidal behaviors, Fiona was not able to let go of her loved ones. Thinking about how sad her family would be if she were to die, Fiona searched for medical assistance with conquering her depression. She was not prepared to end her life after all. She saw a psychiatrist and therapist for a year, while accompanied by two good friends who were outside of the entertainment industry. The path to recovery wasn't a smooth one and had relapses. It required a lot of courage to search deep within herself and a determination to truly improve her predicament. In her darkest hour, Fiona discovered strength in God. With her religious faith stronger than before, Fiona’s perception of life gradually changed to be more positive. Fiona said, “I started to genuinely forgive the people that have hurt me deeply in the past. The toughest part was asking God for forgiveness. I cried uncontrollably. While forgiving others, I needed to let go of myself!” In the course of her year of extreme depression, Fiona oftentimes had bitter quarrels with her mother. To relieve Fiona’s psychological stress, her psychiatrist recommended that Mrs. Sit live separately. Although Mrs. Sit wanted to stay by Fiona's side, she moved out. For a period of time, Fiona and Mrs. Sit never saw one another. When Fiona’s weight slipped down to 85 pounds, her mother immediately moved back into her apartment, cooking meals to nourish Fiona’s body back to health. Fiona’s near-death experience brought her closer to her family, they learned to communicate their problems, while providing each other strength. Fiona said, “I am very lucky that I did not die. Hopefully each family does not need a near-death situation before they understand to cherish each other!” It required personal courage for Fiona to conquer her depression and suicidal tendencies. Fiona found support in her family, personal and church friends to recover. Presently, Fiona has nursed her body and mind back to health. She keeps an empty bottle of the depression medication that she used to take, as a reminder of the road blocks that she overcame in her life. Creds: The Sun
