I haven't been able to sleep well the entire week. My first gf called out of the blue and asked for my help. She's diagnosed with renal cancer last week and the only person that she could think of was me. We broke up before I dropped out of med school so she thought I am a doc now. Anyway .. I wasn't able to do much; shocked and sad for her. She's afraid to tell her family about it. I asked around old friends for a good referrals but that's about it. What else is there to do?? Part of me don't wanna get too involved because I have my own probs right now with my job yet it's hard to turn away when people reach out to me for help especially someone who you once loved ... sigh.
Hey first love is always the most important, you never will forget them whether it was good or bad. Really you should come clean about dropping out of med school, let her have that comfort of truth and i'm sure you'd feel better too. but you two are exs so you'll know that thats how the friendship is. Go have like coffee with her, catch up with old times but know your limits. And srly she has to tell her family, you dont want to get involved and thats fine, but convince her to let her closest people know. Its better that she has their support early on, rather than when its well....anyways. If she's just looking for someone to talk to, just I guess give her that comfort that she still has a friend in you, but do know your limits. You don't have to get too involved, just be someone that she knows she can't count on. Being diagnosed is prolly making her life a wreck....but as least worse come to worse she had a happy life right? (tbh i dont know how severe renal cancer is, i jsut see cancer...and yeah...)
Yea, she's going to need to tell her family, as they can find help for her. Shouldn't matter if you're exes, if you manage to convince her to tell her family, you'll be doing her (and her family) a humongous favour as a friend.
As a friend all you can do is offer her the best advice and hope she acts on it. She has got to tell her family, they are going to find out sooner or later why not be on your friends terms sooner.
I don't know the severity of the cancer, but if it's by chance at an early stage and treatable, then it's a matter of life and death. You have your own problems, but so do the rest of the people in the world. Would you really let your friend die, if there was a hope of it being treatable? I'm not accusing you of thinking of your problems before hers, but honestly, help a friend out. You might be doing her a life-saving favour.
yeah like the rest say, nothing you can do but comfort her. at this stage she really want some support, it's tough shit. if you're gonna talk alot with her, maybe tell your wife first before she gets mad
^ That's a good point, talk to the wife first lol. But in regards to what advice to give, I'm not sure if the girl needs a listening ear (comfort and support), or someone to tell her to tell her family. Comforting can't save her life. Telling her family, which in turn seeking out help, might.
Well .. I was shocked all together that she would call me up out of the blue and then told me about her condition. We haven't been in touch for over 10 years and the fact that I have changed my number several time; yet she was still able to get a hold of me kinda give me the chill. Anyway, I already told that I am not a doc, married, and for her to tell her family. It's a tough and long battle so she needs all the help and supports possible. I feel her family has the right to know about her condition; but I don't know how to get a hold of them nor do I want to intrude. Frankly, I was very straight-forward with her. Thus, I am a bit sad since I can't do much for her; especially for someone who had tried so hard to track me down only to get such a response. My wife is aware of it and she's fine. Seriously though, I really don't know what else to do for her. I am an emotional guy so I am afraid that I'll go crazy ... something that I can't afford like last year when I lost three people closed to me merely within a month. It's not easy and the latest development of my life is not exactly on the bright side so it's even harder for me to act up and cheer someone else on when I am already in deep water. She hasn't called me but she'll better know her condition this week when the results from all the testings are out. I'll give her a buzz later this week and check if things are fine. So far, I have tracked down a few docs through friends that are good in the field. That's about it.
