Funny Real GSCE Exam Answers

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by fearless_fx, Jun 5, 2007.

  1. fearless_fx

    fearless_fx Eugooglizer

    Geography

    Q: Name the four seasons.
    A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

    Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
    A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

    Q: How is dew formed?
    A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

    Q: What is a planet?
    A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

    Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
    A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

    Sociology

    Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
    A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.

    Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
    A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

    Q: What are steroids?
    A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

    Biology

    Q: What happens to your body as you age?
    A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

    Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
    A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

    Q: What is artificial insemination?
    A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

    Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
    A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]

    Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g.abdomen.)
    A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.

    Q: What is the Fibula?
    A: A small lie.

    Q: What does “varicose” mean?
    A: Nearby.

    Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
    A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

    Q: Give the meaning of the term “Caesarean Section.”
    A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

    Q: What is a seizure?
    A: A Roman emperor.

    Q: What is a terminal illness?
    A: When you are sick at the airport

    Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
    A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas.

    English

    Q: Use the word “judicious” in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
    A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face…

    Q: What does the word “benign” mean?
    A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

    Technology

    Q: What is a turbine?
    A: Something an Arab or Seikh wears on his head.





    some pretty snarky answers here lol... either a bunch of smart asses or kids who just don't read.
     
  2. brown_bear

    brown_bear ☆‧° ☆﹒﹒‧ ☆ ﹒﹒‧☆‧° ☆

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    hahahaa they're great....i used to know a few of these too....becuase our teachers used to pick them out from our exam papers and annoymously put them up without names for us all to have a good laugh at -lol
     
  3. mingming2006

    mingming2006 Well-Known Member

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    lol they are hilarious..
     
  4. reno

    reno Well-Known Member

    must luv these special answers =) ehehehehe
     
  5. lammy29

    lammy29 Well-Known Member

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    hahaha funny stuff
     
  6. BabyRain

    BabyRain Doppelgänger of da E.Twin

    Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
    A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

    -rotfl haha
     
  7. chickenutbread

    chickenutbread Well-Known Member

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    ROFL. literally. maaaan, i haven't laughed this much since a while ago. usually nothing really makes me really laugh; chuckle maybe but not laugh. funny stuff.

    @br: when do you go to sleep?? wow. i'm gonna hit the hay soon. i've been on here as long as you but can't take it any more. lol
     
  8. ch0ps7ix

    ch0ps7ix Well-Known Member

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    Q: What is a planet?
    A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

    thats a good question... how would u define a planet? a big rock that is apart of a solarsystem which circles around a sun?
     
  9. Taxloss

    Taxloss Stripper Vicar

    -lol Wonder whether this was answered by a male or female!
     
  10. fearless_fx

    fearless_fx Eugooglizer

    lol yeah, i rarely laugh at internet stuff, but this made me chuckle out loud too
     
  11. kakenx

    kakenx Well-Known Member

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    haha! Hilarious stuff! gunna save this and give it out to some 6th graders or sumtin.. maybe they'll get an "A" in their tests lol!
     
  12. gawain187

    gawain187 Well-Known Member

    Haha, I have already received this in e-mail from a friend. Dam, I should have posted this in earlier.
     
  13. zoom_zoom

    zoom_zoom Well-Known Member

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    Q: Use the word “judicious” in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
    A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face…


    lol... this is a really creative answer..
     
  14. lee-lee

    lee-lee Well-Known Member

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    haha...keep it in the cow...
     
  15. fearless_fx

    fearless_fx Eugooglizer

    lol took me a while to figure that one out
     
  16. kapo123

    kapo123 Member

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    rawrrr siooo damn funnyy!!!
     
  17. nyckeion

    nyckeion ....Boo....

    varicose omg i cant stop laughing at that hahahhaa
     
  18. jwslam

    jwslam Well-Known Member

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    i still don't get it
     
  19. nyckeion

    nyckeion ....Boo....

    ^if only someone breaks it down i can understand
     
  20. hiake

    hiake Vardøgr of da E.Twin

    LOL, that student (and the mark who gave him an A) must be animal activist/vegetarian -lol