lately I've had something happen to me repeatedly i would just have a complaint, or a unhappy story i go to a friend and just vent i'm the type of person who just needs someone to listen, a shoulder to cry on and then i'm fine so a lot of my close friends know this about me, they just sit there and listen and give me hugs or make absurb threating comments on the ones who anger/hurt me (which ends up making me laugh at least a little) but then there are those who dont know you that well who feel the need to help who feel the need to tell you what to do who think i went to them because i think they know better and i am desperately in need of their counsellings (ok this statement made me sound prideful, but honestly . . . i kinda am) they think you are there asking for advice and try to convice you that your ideas are wrong, and how there method is right by the end, after you get mad at them they ask "why did you ask for my help then if you were going to get mad" WHEN THE F*%K DID I ASK FOR YOUR HELP i had one friend who actually thought i was asking her what i NEEDED to do, and she went on to tell me how she did it, and how i MUST do it the same way as her later on after arguing she actually went on to say that she thought (from what i had say) that i was asking her what to SPECIFICALLY do, so i could copy it step by step, because I obviously trusted her opinion THAT MUCH (dude i didn't even know her that well, and how can you follow the steps of someone who you dont think even does the right thing) must, should, and could are very different i also had to explain to her asking for an opinion is different from asking for advice oh but they seem the same, the answers are the same yes asking for someone's opinion of what to do, and advice may come up with the same results but the intention of what to do with those results are quite different ADVISE is, ok this is what i need to do OPINION is, hmm that is an option, i wonder what other options i may have, or maybe i can combine different things from different people's opinions to make up something better do you guys ask for help? any of you like me, who doesn't want to hear other people's answers when mad/sad but just need to vent?
babe...i just read thru that...lol..do u want me to advise you or just agree with ya? i do vent to ppls and altho sometimes i dont ask for advice they just do...buh i just choose not to listen if i don't realli respect their views or anythin``usually if some person runs up to me in a tantrum etc. bout their life, i would most likely give them a bit of comfort and SUGGEST how they can get better...this may be IMPLYING that they stop wat they're doin etccccc...``` love` mon
like you mentioned..words of advice and opinion are pretty much the same...no offense but its up to you whether u take it as advice or opinion..honestly..if it was me listening to ur story..i don't see y I would have to sit through your whole story and then get a bitching for giving my opinion..and did ALL your friends ASK to listen to your story??!??! im guessin not. Therefore, they should also be able to say what they want even without your consent. Anyways, I hope I didn't sound too rude..and keep in mind your friends only have good intentions.
bleh people will never understand the fact that you are only asking for an advice.. not a guidebook then they act like they know everything and try to teach you everything you need to know next time they piss you off just tell them when was the last time your doctor told you to not do something and you still did.
Personally, I think you need to sort out what you want from someone when you rant to them. Do you want someone else to just know? Someone else to pity you? Or advice/opinions? (Yes these two are very similar). Though I do agree that if the other person starts talking about themselves... it seems a bit egotistic of them. Personally, I'm one of the listeners. I usually also ask what the other person wants me to do, and will try to keep tabs on the person for a small period afterwards about that subject. (It seems that some people want this to happen but don't know how to say it) Although I've only ranted to personal friends a few(very few) times, there have been times when someone "overhears" the conversation and begins to give advice. Usually after the rant, I'm already quite ticked off, and their advice/opinions are just pissing me off more. (Normally, I'm better after a couple of minutes of evaluation. I realise how stupid the thing I'm ranting about is, and then it fades away) HOWEVER, if you feel the need to do something about the annoying opinions, you should just stop, evaluate THEIR opinion and then point out the reasons why it's wrong from your point of view. (I just makes you feel better to shoot down their "stupid" advice. )
