I've been with my bf for over 8 months and I have seen quite a lot of evidnce that he's been cheating on me. During the 4th month I found pictures and videos of him and his "ex" in bed and I checked the date of it and it was pretty recent. More recently, I found a letter from her to him in his wallet and that was written not too long ago..I've confronted him a number of times, but he would always yell at me and he almost hit me a few times..I know most people think I should break up with him, but I love him too much to let him go..I told him that I know about his ex and that I know her full name, address, email, have an idea where she works and even her home phone number..he never lets me look at his phone so when he's sleeping I always look through it and always find messages texted with her name under "princess" whereas my name is listed under some sort of drug like ice or reefer or crack? I don't know what to do anymore....my mom tells me I'm going through more than a 15 yr. old should and now I don't know what to do..he told me if that if I ever went near her he would ruin my life he has threatned me a few times that he would hit my mom..someone please help me, I really dont know what to do..
I think you really need to build up some courage and let him go. It doesn't do you any good just to watch it and you seem too timid and afraid to do anything about it. If you don't want to risk hurting those around you, cut your ties before anything serious happens. This isn't something to drag on and shorter is better. If you stay away from him, you'll probably forget him, be it two months or two years, you'll get over it.
I think you should just break up with him. =/ Ya know, if he really & truly loves you, he wouldn't put you through so much pain, so why are you sacrificing so many things just to be with him? & I think you should find another guy who would treat you with respect & love you for who you are & be loyal/faithful to you. So I think you should just let him go/break up with him, even though you love him so much. You'll get over & maybe after you break up with him, you'll find someone new =)
How can you even love a guy who makes you live in constant fear??? You're 15; you have so much more ahead of you than some boy who will threaten your livelihood. Nobody deserves to be in an abusive relationship. What kind of bf threatens to hurt your family? If I were you I'd dump him like yesterday's garbage. Many girls are very much like you...when they're in an abusive relationship, they deny it at first. They make up excuses for the guy and place the blame for his behavior on themselves. These abusers take such a toll on your self-esteem that you begin to believe that you can't do any better, and that these abusers are the best thing to have ever happened to you. Believe me, this is ALL FALSE! Abusive relationships only get worse with time. Leave the jerk now, and if he persists to bother you, please call the police or seek help elsewhere!
Wow, the guy IS an asshole. You don't know what love is until you ditch this guy and find someone better (and you will girl, I know it ) I know it'll be hard to convince yourself or have us convince you that you really will need to just dump the guy. So instead of convince, I want to tell you to trust us instead. Trust is something you already lost with your current BF, so I'm offering mine to you. Trust me, and trust these girls that have just posted. You trust me, and I'll trust you, deal? P.S. Good, I met my multi smile quota in this post *<_< at shy*
As advised by all the ppl before me, please break up with this guy asap! He is unworthy of your time and love. Prolonging your relationship will not do you any good.....it will only harm you more in the end.
First of all, I just want to give a big thanks to all those who commented. Your comments and encouragement mean a lot to me especially in a time like this. Thank you. I do realize that my relationship with him is not a healthy one and I know that I should break up with him, but it's actually a lot easier said then done. I still care about him a lot and I think it's going to be very hard for me to get over him despite the ways he's treated me recently. I'm scared that once I break up with him I'm going to regret it. He's not a bad guy...he only hit me once and he's apologized. I know he didn't mean it, he's just going through a lot of family problems lately and he has no where else to take it out on. The only reason why he hit me was because I started crying and he wanted me to calm down so he got mad. Maybe it was something I did? I don't really know anymore, but I really don't think now would be a good time to leave him especially since he's going through a lot of problems. I'm so confused. My mom is right, I'm still too young to be going through any of this. I just wish I never met him, you know? I can't even concentrate on school anymore...
So when you started crying, he slapped you in attempt to calm you down?? I don't get it. And now, you're asking if you're the one doing something wrong?? Don't you see what's going on here? You're just making up excuses for him. So you may have reacted strongly for whatever reason, but that doesn't give him the right to hit you. A man should never ever lay a hand on his woman, no matter what the situation is. He doesn't love you. Please break up with him immediately & go seek help before you end up hurting yourself and your loved ones.
He hit you because he wanted you to calm down and stop crying? That actually doesn't make any sense at all! Just break it off, I guarantee you won't regret! After he makes threats about hitting your mom, there's no turning back. You should probably suggest he gets some professional help too. And everyone has family problems, but some people can't handle things as well as others. Resorting to violence at such a young age is a sign of something worse down the line....
I know it's very difficult to get over somebody, regardless of how much pain they've caused you. Unless you get a lobotomy, there is no way that you can completely forget about somebody, because a person who once played an important role in your life will be forever etched in your memories. So, unless you have amnesia, it's not going to happen. However, there are ways for you to ease the pain whenever the thought of him comes across your mind. Firstly, you have to keep yourself occupied so you're not thinking irrationally. Secondly, you should see what you've learned from this entire experience and make light of it. Yes, he's caused you a lot of pain, but there must be some things that you've learned through it all that has made you a better person. Appreciate that. Thirdly, take the time that you've dedicated to him to find YOURSELF. Do things that you may have given up as a result of spending time with him, such as catching up on your studies (which you mentioned you haven't been doing) or hanging out with your girl friends. When you find out more about yourself, you may realize that he is not suitable for you, and that you are better off without him. Time waits for nobody. You're only 15, the more time you waste dwelling on the past, the more of your own life you're wasting. The outcome of your life is based on the decisions that you make. If you want something to happen, you have to be proactive, not reactive. In life, you have to fall to learn that it hurts, and you only grow stronger from your life experiences. You have to be strong. It took me a while to be at peace with somebody, but I'm glad that I am. I've not forgotten about him, but it doesn't hurt when I think about him anymore.
DUMP him your only 15 i dont think you know what love is yet....dump him and you'll fine someone better.... but its easier said then done....:S
No one said it would be easy. If it was easy, you wouldn't hold it so sacred, but that guy simply isn't worth your time and affection. The easiest way to overcome him is to spend time with someone else. Go hang out with your closest friends, have them introduce you to new guys to hang out with. The less you think about him and these events, the better off you are. If you want help breaking up with him, I'm sure we can conjure up some witty ideas for that too
It's always easier said than done. Before you knew of this guy's existence, you were able to survive. After he's out of your life, it should be no different than before he was in your life. Like I said in my previous post, do things to keep yourself occupied, try not to see him or talk to him, & try not to get any info on what he's doing. The less things you have to remind yourself about him, the better off you'll be. You just have to give it some time. You'll eventually find the person who will treat you the way you want.
this may have be mention before >> but you need a safe-guard individual in your life. first of all, dump that bastard >> no physical assault is justified by a reason. at least not by law. as long as he is consciously awared of his anger and physcial "attack". his action and motives are consider assault and battery on another individual. therefore able to be punish by court in the laws of the states. but ... you probably think he is a good individual. he has a good heart and a good mind. and he is only treating you this way to express his pain and anger with his family .. and/or situations in his life. i'm sorry. that isn't true. i'm not stating that he is not going to through a rough time his life, he probably is. however, there are other ways to express out anger and faustration. or, marriage and relationships will never work out >> since every guy in the relationship will be too "out of control" and abusive. second, you need a safe-guard individual. you never mention your father .. so i presume that you only have a mother. search through your life >> you must have an uncle and or good male friend, like a cousin or doesn't have to be family. but a strong male counter-acting individual that is able to help you break away from this type of relationship. and plus, this individual can provide shelter, emotionally, and physically. and if you don't feel comfortable expressing your feeling with other male individual >> friends and lots of it. two things are always better than one >> therefore, construct an atmosphere so you are involved and surround with many of your family and friends .. and also it will make the breakup easier and less painful. anyways >> this is a long entry .. and probably you won't read it. but >> here is my two cents. -.^
One thing I don't understand is why you feel it is necessary for you to put up with this guy. I really don't get why so many women choose to torture themselves and stay in an abusive relationship when they KNOW that it obviously isn't healthy. For example, why do prostitutes get in relationships with pimps when they know for a fact that these guys are just using them? It's pretty ridiculous if you asked me...
It's a psychological thing... lots of studies on the subject of abusive relationships and why they stick around. :( Feel bad for all the beautiful ladies out there being mistreated. The emotional scars left behind are also often very extreme :(
