hi All I need those who experience wot i experience. I"m dating this girl she's 1 of those rare ones that r almost 30 but she lack experience in life & is VERY immature. We've been friends for almost 3 years and started dating for over a year now. THing is i have done a lot for her cos i understand her & very considerate for her. Thing is she's seems confuse about her feelings towards me is it a friend or more. We have been breaking up cos of this reason few times & 1 time i had it & broke it off. She was really said & she said she realise she feels for me more than a friend. She even cried when we saw eachother again by accident 3 days after breakup. Thing is she's very good person but she's too immature that she is cluless & inconsiderate sometimes (not in bad way). We are doing ok now & she seems to accept this relationship more serious. But can i ask also, i don't want to get intimate with her but sometimes i sense like she doesn't want as to make out. Like we kiss & hug but i sense she's afraid of that. She said she didn't even do that with her ex. I wonder is it cos she doens't feel for me in that way or even enough or its just her character. Cos i always believe when u truely feel u don't mind about those things.
lol she sounds nice =D , lol well if she doesnt wait it, u prob cant force her, so just try and do other stuff=P like ,,,,,,,,,
she sounds like she really "slow heated" 慢熱... u've gotta go really slow with her... it seems like she still has feelings for u... u just gotta take ur time... n don't b afraid to go a little overboard each time u makout... but u must stop when she shows any sign of resistance... u gotta keep in mind she never got intimate with her ex n she's almost 30... she'd probably b scared each time u get too close... that's gonna b really tough to break through... good luck!!!
eh... i thought ur 20 n ur lady's 25?? anyway... Joe... u've known her for over 3 yrs... n i'm sure u know wot kinda person she is (but then again they say men can never understand women) u just gotta b patient with her... if she didn't have feelings for u should would've left things the way it was when u guys broke up last time...
I dont think shes immature, maybe simply emotionally and psychologically unprepared. Give it some time and talking to her about it would also help.
I think being immature some times in a relation, makes the relation worthwhile more fun. And just be mature in appropriate situations when it's needed. You have the feeling, that you dont know if she loves you or see you as a friend. Since you said that you think, making out isn't a big deal if you really love each other, maybe it isn't vice versa. You are saying that you have given alot of effort in this relation, but love isn't about how much you gave......It's something you both have to build. A strong relationship takes time to build, this aint in 1,2,3 years. I dont think having sex in a relationship is so important (I cant believe i'v said this.....), it's just a way to express. I guess you will have to take it slowly, maybe she will finally realise you are the true one by then. True -_-2
Be straight up with her. Ask her to marry you! No, don't do that. I don't know you or her. Only you guys know each other better than anyone. Take advices and work it into your relationship. Example: Talk openly with her about what-ever in life. Take her around the town. Every week or day you guys should do something exciting. For example: try different restaurants, especially smaller ones, catch a movie from time to time, go shopping, buy flowers just cause. Let her know you want her to be the one in your life. Make her feel like she's protected. If somethings bothering her ask.. hopefully she'll open up more to you. Good luck.
Thing is i don't think about the physical side. Its i find it most important is the emotional security. Thing is i love her a lot otherwise i would have given up a while back then. But i'm not 100% certain how she feels towards me. Cos thing is physical can also indicate how they feel. Its just i'm not sure if she feels for me as a really close friend or more. Thing is she knows i'm good to her, she knows that i'm very good to her & treats her very well. I believe only when i'm not there for her anymore then she'll know the true answer.
i think its just cause she doesn't really have that much relationship experience. she's prob not ready. she's prob a virgin i take it, so it is a HUGE deal for her. u just gotta give her time. if i were her i wouldn't give it up since it sounds like u two aren't really that deep into the relationship yet. u guys aren't on the same level. sex isn't gonna deepen the relationtionship alone.
the thing is even if u drill her head open u won't know wot she's thinking inside... so wot matters more... wot ur getting or wot ur giving?? how she feels abt u or how happy you can make her...?? i know guys that knows their girl's is not 100% with them... but they r holding on to wot ever they can n giving everything to make her happy... naive bois but brave... n i'm not saying that's the mentality u must have... i'm just thinking... u guys have gone thru so much ups n downs... y not try to put the past aside... take her hand n tell her u wanna make her the happiest woman on earth while u can... even if things don't work out at least she'll never forget u... sometimes i'm a very naive person -lol n i know it's easier said than done... i hope things works out for u...
is she worth all this? are you crazy about her? cause if you are, than of course you need to be patient, but else wise . . .
you can start over n give her kisses on the forhead, her cheek, just not too much pressure you know. cos kissing on the lips and stuff, probably makes her feel she has to respond, so just kiss her affectionately on her forhead or cheek n smile warmly at her to show your willing to take it slow if thats what it takes. and when you place kisses on her cheek, you can always whisper reassuringly that you love her, no matter what, in her ear and smile. just hold her hand and take it easy, and if you have to, when she shows signs of resistance, just reassure her again by saying "you'll take it slow if thats what she wants" if u do small romantic gestures im sure she'll come around ~.^
