often u hear guy/girl cheated... n then go back to their bf/gf to confess... is that really the best thing to do?? ur fds might say "at least he/she was being honest..." but is this really enough to forgive that person?? some people say if u've cheated... u did something wrong... so u should suffer the consequence of being scold by ur bf/gf... but has anyone considered the feelings of their bf/gf?? do they really want to know the truth... do u think knowing their love ones have betrayed them would really make them feel better?? personally if my bf cheats on me i'd rather he lies to me... because i'm not Lord Jesus... i can't forgive everything... if he wants to confess to make himself feel better he can go to a priest... otherwise his punishment would b covering up his tracks, feeling guilty and treat me like a queen forever... what's ur opinion??
as long as u don't know the truth there's no lie... n that's exactly what i'm asking... would the truth really make u happy?? is that what u really want to know??
The truth always hurts but, you'll be happier in the long run. A cheater is always a cheater. If they do it once, they can do it again. How much do you think they value your relationship if they chuck it out the window for a moment of pleasure. To limit yourself to someone who's not even worthy of your time is just to limit your opportunities.
isn't thta wta u said b4...as long as u don't know wat ur bf does..u're ok with it..i disagree with the thought
well... it's easy for young couples to say stuff it... if u cheated n i can't get over it then we break up... find someone who appears to b more decent... but what about people married with kids?? they cheated... but they know they don't want a divorce coz it's only a one time thing... should they still confess?? even though the relationship will b scarred forever??
"The truth that survives is simply the lie that is pleasantest to believe." - H. L. Mencken In a way, I think not wanting the person to confess is kind of like self-deception. If I had a choice, I wouldn't want to be left in the dark. If he cheats on me and decides to keep it from me, we're both basically living in a lie. It's true that it is selfish to want to tell the person, to get it out and relieve the burden a little, but I also think its cruel to lie by not confessing, because chances are that some day the truth will be discovered, and it'll be even more hurtful then. Yes, finding out sooner opposed to later would produce different kinds of pain, but as a girl, I believe the latter is far worse. If my boyfriend cheated on me, I would want him to respect me enough to be honest with me. I mean, since I'm the one being cheated on, I think I deserve the right to make the choice on whether or not to move forward with him. If he's lucky, I might forgive him, but if not, at least he has shown that he still has some integrity, and that he is willing to deal with the consequences of his actions. In any case, if the cheater TRULY does feel guilty, I find it hard to believe that he/she would be able to go on acting as if nothing has ever happened... at least to the point where their partner wouldn't pick up on it. I mean, even if you are a good actor, at some point they'll see through it, and there is no amount of "Oh, it's nothing.." that will truly convince someone you supposedly have a strong connection with that you aren't keeping somethig from them. And if the 2 of you are married, I'd presume that it'd be even more difficult for you to be able to keep it from them. Personally, I do not know much about love or relationships, but for me, I've always believed that the more you lovesomebody, the more you owe it to them to tell them the truth even if it means sacrificing yourself. So I guess it really depends on the individuals being involved... For once, I actually agree with you! I think it should be written down for the records.
^ My goodness, I couldn't agree more with you, Peachey. Wow. I am actually quite shocked that there are some people who would rather their spouse be dishonest (or not be up-front, both are basically the same to me) to them. I would definitely choose confession. It is, quite simply, the right thing to do. I know, most people have cheated, etc... men and their libidos etc... but really, any person of honor would confess, speak their heart, and take their lumps. You wanna feel guilty throughout the whole relationship, go ahead, but it's a bs way to start something you think has real potential. It's not about the sex part, it's never about the sex. IF you confess, and you're honest about the reasons, and your connection is suitably strong, it might be salvageable. Wouldn't you rather have that be the outcome? If you got hit by a bus tomorrow, don't you want to look down and know you had done the right thing? "If he is a man of honor in one thing, he is that in all things"-- Raymond Chandler
Knoc and his one liners Anyway, I think the "right" thing to do in this type of situation for anybody, would be to figure out what will cause your gf/bf the least amount of pain and do that. Anything else is basically self-serving.
peach..u should start up an advice section and have ppl come to u for advice and then give em paragraph replies...
Not knowing the truth, it means there´s a lie... would the truth make you happy? not really but would the lies make you happier? I rather know the truth and try my best to forget and move on with my life.
I agree but then like someone said, it really depends on the person. If the guy/girl who cheated knows that their gf/bf would rather not hear the truth then don't tell them is the best solution.
ok... put it this way... if u found out ur dad's cheating behind ur mum's back... would u tell her the truth n let her move on with her life??
When your friends say that, they don't mean that you should forgive them, they're just stating the positive. THE ONLY POSITIVE THING HE DID TO YOU. I mean..at least give the guy some respect, he did cheat, but it doesn't mean you have to bitch at him. (as friends are trying to say) Just ignore him...forget about him. And this is to your post overall: If you think that it would be better if your bf lied to you, then thats your choice...but you have to consider the fact that all lies get un-buried one way or another and I assure you, you'll feel much MUCH worse knowing that he had cheated PLUS lied to you. *Note: I didn't read what the others wrote so yeah..I might've repeated some stuff...
remember Jesus Christ of Latter Saint saying "you told the true" it all depends, telling truth might gain or it could lose the truth of each other.
