Is this my problem or hers?

I'm so sick of getting annoyed about whether this is a problem I make or it's hers. I'm actually starting to blame myself. As some of you may know from my previous threads, I've got a girlfriend which mainly has all guy friends.

There are obviously female friends that she used to be very close to, but for like the past year, these guy friends seem like they're getting more closer. They make it out like they're in desperate need to get around her. They always try their hardest to invite her out, and she's never backed away from the invites.

I don't exactly see her much anyway, probably twice every week and it could definitely be every day if she wanted to.. but erm it doesn't happen. These invites from guy friends are ALWAYS all with guys. Probably around 7 of guys each time. She's like the only girl there. I've NEVER said one thing about this before, it's been a year now, and it's starting to get annoying. I barely see her and yet she's not capable of saying no to these guys just to give her boyfriend she apparently loves just one moment of having a peaceful mind. I'm actually dying from this internally.

I go out with my friends ect, but there's always a mixture of people of both sexes, whereas for her, it's always one girl, several guys. IT's annoying! I trust her, but not to the extent where they're all flirting with her constantly and she just gives in to them.. :mad: ..also there's a problem with her making it seem like she's easy. That kills me instantly. I've spoken to her. Agreed on making changes. But it's not keeping that way with the changes. She seems like she's not capable of doing anything for my sake anymore. Argh. I really don't know..

So is this my problem??? >_<

 

woah, u sound 'hurting'
guess i cant giv too much advice, but i do hav this one chick friend who likes to hang with guys alot rather than girls... somehow she gets along with men better... she's still single so its abit diff in ur situation.. but yeh...

u should make it clear to her that u see this as a problem and she should at her own decision to makes some time for u.. twice a week does seem little in my point of view

the thing is, if u tag along with her to her other guy friends, dont isolate her to just you, ie u got to give her space and stuff.. like ur still the BF, so if shes comfortable with u there with her dude friends then good, and the dudes definatly wouldnt do any 'flirting'

(did i make any sense )

 

erm i'll say this from the female's perspective... I used to be someone similar to the girl in high school. I had way more guy friends than girls that I could talk close to, maybe one very tight girl friend at most. I think its possible that she doesn't know its hurting you that bad.

You should ask her to "leave a place for you" every time she's going out with the guys. Maybe you could be feinting feeling left out of the fun all the time, or just so you can watch over her (but don't tell her that, it will hurt her feelings).

And if you do get to go out with her and the guys, make sure to do proper body signals. Don't go all wimpy and make them think you're weak and she's an easy grab. But don't be overly MAN and annoy the girl.

Right now i'm single, but half the reason had to do with him not being able to take on me going out with male buddies, and the other half being long distance relationship. Its a pity, i really liked that guy and still do...

 

i feel like there might be 2 reasons for this..although these are not exhaustive reasons:

1) she is a really big flirt and she likes the attention that she gets from the guys around her...making her feel special for being the center of attention...and giving her a big boost on self-esteem because having so many guys around her may mean that she is very attractive

2) she is not getting the same feelings from you that she gets from other guys...and by that I mean that she might be missing the feeling of being "chased". This might have been because you two have been together for so long now, the relationship has moved to another stage. But it never hurts to spark the feelings of falling in love all over again. Try doing little things for her like calling her randomly to tell her you love her, leave her little notes here and there telling her how much you miss her...whatever you do to steal her heart at the very beginning. Maybe this would make her realize that she's already got it all because she has you!

Anyways, these are just my suggestions, they are certainly not the only reasons as to why she is acting this way. Perhaps she does find guys easier to talk to than girls? If she can draw the line between you and those other guys, then it means that at least she knows you are her only boyfriend. The bottom line is, don't blame yourself, relationship is about 2 people and 2 people trying to make things work. If you have talked to her about it and she still decides to keep it that way, then it's her turn to talk to you as to why she thinks that she wants to hang out with so many guys regardless of how you feel.

 

As a female, my best friends are all guys. Always been that way and probably always will be. But seriously, be a man and break up with her. Why are you putting yourself through this crap especially if you've had the conversation about this whole situation numerous times and she wont change! If she loved you like she claims she does she would change her attitude and be a bit more reserved around the guys. Your arent telling her to not see them or talk to them anymore, you're only asking she consider your relationship. Not asking much.

She may just like hanging out with these guys plain and simple. I used have this one guy from work that I'd always hang out with and apparently talked about what we would do all the time to my boyfriend (now husband) and he would do the same to his girlfriend (now wife). Anyhow, our relatioship got to the point where both our significant others both said that we talked about each other too much. After that, if we hung out we would tell them but not talk about how great each other was to them. Nothing ever happened between us, we were just friends.

My point - if she really cared she would've changed her attitude by now.

Solution - like I said, man up and break up with her. I'm sure there's someone else out there that can appreciate you. If it's hurting you that much stop putting yourself through it. No person in the world is worth dying inside over.

 

Stay strong dude. You are breaking and that's not good for her either, I'm sure no woman out there want an insecure guy. You gotta be a little arrogant and overconfident at times and think, well I'm the shit, these guys have nothing on me so why would she want to date one of them.

If she does actually leave you for one of them, continue to stay strong. This is one indecisive woman that should not be worth your time. Stay focus on your real goals and stay strong.

The dating field is survival of the fittest.

 

Stay strong .. and be patient .. thats all u need dude

 

sry to hear that dude. i will feel shit too if it was my gf. my heart goes out to u...

 

Hang out with her and her friends.

 

you should ask her what is her priority - you or her friends first? have her hang around you and ur friends and you do that same thing