NO .. this is NOT about me. I met up with a few friends this morning for brunch and one of the guys asked me for my opinion. He told me that he recently proposed to his girlfriend of 1.5 year but she didn't go all crazy about it. In fact, he expected a call from her that night yet nothing. Is that normal? He thought she would be over excited and sleepless; thus would call him up to chat. Then he asked her why she accepted his proposal and wanted to be with him; the first thing she said was that he's a nice guy .. filial, someone who cares about family, and have plans. Not once did she mention that she loves him. So .. he's like totally confused now. Yeah, he loves her and wants to spend the rest of his life with her yet he's getting mixed signals. What he saw on TV or imagined a girl would react when being proposed were different in reality. He asked me for suggestion so I told him .. I don't know. Everyone is different. Go with your heart. If you have doubt, then break it off. Good answer, right?
lol so you're telling him to go with his heart, what if he ends up marrying the girl, spends thousands of dollars, and then breaks off.... way to waste money lol
break it down: Why marry him? cuz he is nice, care about family, and decisive (nice+caring+decisive=reliable person/good husband-bigclap) Is there love? Maybe or maybe not -huh So is she marrying for love or because it's hard to find a reliable guy in this society? because it's hard to find a reliable guy Conclusion(personal opinion): Don't go for it , man. It would be boring and lots of argument later because she didn't really love him at the first place.-cry2
^ Yes. Marriage SHOULD BE a once in a life time event. Shouldn't really happen twice. <-- That's my opinion So maybe find a way to find out what she's thinking. Marrying him that she actually loves him, or she's just marrying just because he's reliable & caring. Best way is to ask her directly if she still loves him. If she answers 'yes, i love you' without hesitation.. then go for it?
Well, as a regular friend, I rather not get involved with his relationship. I don't even know the girl and there are some types of girl who simply don't say the word "love" so casually especially "Asians" who usually think saying the word "love" gives them goosebumps or whatever. They're shy too. So .. I advised him to follow his heart. The important thing at the end of the day is that regardless of what he does or the decision he makes, he has no regrets. If there is/are, at least he made the final call. Relationship advice is different from eating what type of food or going where for vacation because us outsiders don't know what goes on between the two individuals ... only they know.
Well said! So actually. What to do is to say 'follow your heart'. That's actually the best opinion we can give.
The fact she is not answering "Because I love you" could have many reasons. Some people just don't like to use those words, others don't use those words because it's so obvious... Only he can find out (or just feel?) if she still loves him or not... Outsiders don't know what's in between the both of them
okay .. honestly, i didn't wanna think and analyze his situation .. go with his heart kinda took myself out of the conversation .. .lol .. i guess, that was why he didn't talk to me much afterward...lol so .. i posted it here and see what ya'll think about my answer .. should i apologize but then I thought it over again and felt it was appropriate. personally, i would have asked the girl immediately, right there when she answered the question .. where's the love .. i am sure there are great men out there who fulfilled those requirements but "love" is the only appropriate response. frankly, i would've broken up right there.
we can't really give advice for this kind of thing... we 're outsider, everyone has his/her reason... But i agree with the girl, when someone talks abt marrying, it has to be with someone responsible,nice, has plan, takes care of family i often hear from friends that love never last long love becomes "kam chin"
It's best to let them deal with their issue, marriage is more than just love. Just tell them to talk things through and see where they are at. They need to be on the same page.
following your heart works here...... cause ultimately it is his decision to dive head first into what maybe a train wreck or a pool of happiness..... if you go and tell him what to do and if something bad ends up happening, this friend of yours may always see you as being the one at fault..... so your impartial answer suits the situation
