Medical journal exercises funny bones

Maverick · Dec 18, 2008

Don't try this at home -bigsmile

Medical journal exercises funny bones

AC/DC should switch to playing Moon River instead of Highway to Hell, in order to reduce neck injuries from headbanging, according to new Australian research published in the British Medical Journal.
And douching with Coca-Cola is an ineffective contraceptive, because sperm can swim faster than the Coke in the race for the cervical canal.
If it sounds like the prestigious journal has gone a bit crazy... well-spotted. The annual Christmas spoof edition is full of outrageous `research' reports, tongue firmly planted in medical cheeks. While not all the reports are outright made-up, many are.
Nevertheless, each year serious news outlets fall for the straight-faced press releases put out by the journal in advance of publication, and write them up as fact.
Last year no less an outlet than the BBC po-facedly reported that men are naturally more comedic than women because of the male hormone testosterone. This came from a report on male reaction to unicycles, and an edition that researched a genetic basis for Harry Potter-style magic.
This year's BMJ Christmas edition examines `evidence' of a link between the performance of the Welsh rugby team and the deaths of Popes.
It suggests that screening for colorectal cancer could be scheduled to coincide with Christmas and birthdays, to encourage attendance, and reveals that Oliver Twist's diet in the poorhouse was highly under-nutritious.
A related podcast explores the medical value of frankincense.
However the standout report is by Associate Professor Andrew McIntosh and his research assistance Declan Patton, from the University of New South Wales.
In a study of head and neck injury risks in heavy metal, they compare the headbanging styles of cartoon slackers Beavis and Butthead, with the live-action movements of Wayne's World stars Wayne and Garth.
"When head banging at a tempo of 164 beats per minute to I Wanna Be Sedated, the range of motion of Beavis' head and neck is about 45 degrees, which is below any injury threshold of both the head and neck injury criteria," the peer-reviewed study said. "Butt-head, however, preferred.. a range of motion of about 75 degrees (predicting) headaches and dizziness. It is well understood, however, that cartoon characters are able to tolerate greater than normal impacts without injury.
"Another legendary pair of head bangers, Wayne and Garth, head bang to Bohemian Rhapsody at 138 beats per minute with a range of movement of about 45 degrees. Because of the low range of movement, no injuries were predicted... though the characters in the back seat of the car demonstrated a noticeably larger range of motion and might be at risk of head or neck injury."
The researchers suggest "possible interventions" such as substituting adult-oriented rock such as Michael Bolton, Celine Dion or Enya.
"For example, encouraging bands such as AC/DC to play songs like Moon River... (and) public awareness campaigns with influential and youth-focused musicians such as Cliff Richard."
Associate Professor McIntosh told The Age that the "science is good" because he applied methods used to study sport and motor vehicle accidents.
However it was clearly written tongue-in-cheek. "We are trying to have a dig at ourselves, and people like me who work in injury prevention," he said.
"It's not meant to create paranoia about headbanging. But I am sure that the humorous element will drop off somewhere along the line."
Associate Professor McIntosh said he was a fan of rock bands such as the Stooges and the Dead Kennedys. Declan, the other author of the paper, played in a hard rock band.
Neither are headbangers.
Click to expand...

Medical journal exercises funny bones

Maverick Lord Vader