Men's Rules: Women should learn these!

Discussion in 'Love and Relationships' started by 小小, Jul 29, 2006.

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小小 (ﾟｰﾟ)(｡_｡)(ﾟｰﾟ)(｡_｡) afk

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I dont mean to offend any female members here, if i have sorry in advance and this is only for a laugh if u feel uncomfortable reading this STEER AWAY right now !!!

This is just something i came across that i found quite funny and somewhat true -lol

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From: http://funny2.com/mensrules.htm

Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present . . . . again!

Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

We don't remember dates. . . .Period!!

Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)

BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, it's like camping.
Click to expand...

#1 小小, Jul 29, 2006
EvaxTvxQ Well-Known Member

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haha, that sounds funny...
i agree with you MOST of the things
but gosh, i dont get it
why does "asking directions" to a guy so offensive???????

#2 EvaxTvxQ, Jul 29, 2006
kinni3 Well-Known Member

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hahahaha this is funny and so very true however its in a girl nature to do these things we just can't help it lol

#3 kinni3, Jul 29, 2006
peachey Well-Known Member

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EvaxTvxQ said:

but gosh, i dont get it
why does "asking directions" to a guy so offensive???????
Click to expand...

One word: EGO

And I have to say that I always find myself somewhat amused when generalized lists such as these come out. It's obvious that whoever created this list has had some pretty bad experiences (or rather lack of experience) with women or with one woman in particular... but since this thread was meant to be a joke, here's something for the men:

Courses for Men

FIRST YEAR

Fall Schedule:
MEN 101 Combating Stupidity
MEN 102 You Too Can Do Housework
MEN 103 PMS - Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
MEN 104 We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings For Christmas

Winter Schedule:
MEN 110 Wonderful Laundry Techniques
MEN 111 Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4AM
MEN 112 Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception
MEN 113 Get a Life; Learn to Cook

Spring Schedule:
MEN 120 How NOT to ACT Like an Ass When You're Wrong
MEN 121 Understanding Your Incompetence
MEN 122 YOU, the Weaker Sex
MEN 123 Reasons To Give Flowers

SECOND YEAR

Fall Schedule:
SEX 101 You Can Fall Asleep Without It
SEX 102 Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Then Take a Shower
MEN 201 How to Stay Awake After Sex
MEN 202 How to Put the Toilet Seat Down

Winter Schedule:
MEN 210 The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
MEN 211 How Not to Act Younger Than Your Children
MEN 212 You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver
MEN 213 Honest - You Don't Look Like Tom Cruise, Especially Naked

Spring Schedule:
MEN 220 Omitting @#%&*@ From Your Vocabulary
MEN 221 Fluffing the Blanket After Farting is NOT Necessary
MEN 222 Real Men Ask for Directions
MEN 223 Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay
Click to expand...

#4 peachey, Jul 29, 2006
Last edited: Jul 29, 2006
kdotc 안녕하세요빅뱅K-Dragon입니다

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^ where the exam?

most of them is tru..i do rememeebr dates..the important ones..and i have more than 3 pair of shoes..and i hate beer

#5 kdotc, Jul 29, 2006
dim8sum ♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪....

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LOL that was funny because it was all true -lol

i think this one was spot on:

Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Click to expand...

#6 dim8sum, Jul 30, 2006
evil_mui 魔女



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Gave up readin like half way down LoL!! Too lazy >.<"

#7 evil_mui, Jul 30, 2006
dim8sum ♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪....

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^ its cause you couldnt face the truth....

#8 dim8sum, Jul 30, 2006
evil_mui 魔女



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LoL!! I'm too lazy la...and I hate readin!! I dun read unless I have to, or if its short

But I think that its pretty funny ^^

#9 evil_mui, Jul 30, 2006
goo wak jai Well-Known Member

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That's funny lol

#10 goo wak jai, Jul 30, 2006
evil_mui 魔女



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^ I bet u didnt even read it all

#11 evil_mui, Jul 30, 2006
goo wak jai Well-Known Member

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yeah Lol just a quick scan through it...too lazy to read all that

#12 goo wak jai, Jul 30, 2006
evil_mui 魔女



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^ Hahaha!! Just like me!! LoL!!
But I did read the first few tho!! ^^

#13 evil_mui, Jul 30, 2006
Knoctur_nal |Force 10 from Navarone|

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damn straight..finally one for the guys here..right on dragon!..and cmon...peachy had to make an appearance...

#14 Knoctur_nal, Jul 30, 2006
Knoctur_nal |Force 10 from Navarone|

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Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, it's like camping
Click to expand...

this one is hilarious

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
Click to expand...

so so true...haaa..

#15 Knoctur_nal, Jul 30, 2006
evil_mui 魔女



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Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuk

#16 evil_mui, Jul 30, 2006
Lammy Member

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haha...i agree with most of it...but....
i have more than 3 pairs of shoes....and i really dont mind a girl having long hair as long as it suits her....

#17 Lammy, Jul 31, 2006
evil_mui 魔女



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Yeh...about the hair thing...guys dun like girls with short hair?? >.<"

#18 evil_mui, Jul 31, 2006
kdotc 안녕하세요빅뱅K-Dragon입니다

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i hate girls with short hair ... thats just me...it looks less hot

#19 kdotc, Jul 31, 2006
evil_mui 魔女



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Why coz longer hair is more sexC?

#20 evil_mui, Jul 31, 2006

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