Well my friends says my work is good but i can't know for sure so here it is i'm still thinking of a title any suggestions will appreciated and i might add more to it. Underneath the blue sky I am wondering Will you be watching it too Forever and forever i'll be wondering When the sun sets The fiery colors become my passion The passion to move on with my life But i'm still searching for you * The darkness fills the skies A shooting star flies by I quickly Wish For you to be here with me I suddenly stand up The tears down my face Each star giving me hope I'm lonely without you * Each day i sit and wonder With my friends and on my own Will you smile or cry when we meet Or we you just pass shyfully These halcyon days Where i laugh and cry Wanting to share these moments But yet your not here * Chorus Eien Aozora ( eternal blue sky) Watashii ga kanashi ja nai sabashii ja nai( i am not sad or lonely) zutto matsu hiratai anata wa koko nai( forever waiting even if your not here) Datte hon kokoro mune shinnyuu iru (But our hearts are joined) kara kore aozora (By this blue sky) () = translation * = Chorus and btw the japanese part maybe not right since i'm still a learner so any japanese readers other plz can u correct it for me thanks.
Hmm, it's OK i guess, still needs improvement though. For example, verse 1; line 2 and 4 contains the same word 'wondering', it may sound nicer if you can replace it with another word but they rhyme. Title how about Eternal blue sky? Or Blue Sky
Thnx all ^_^ just need a slight bit of reworkin and then i'll try compose a melody to it then i might voice it myself or get a girl to do it instead.
