my love life to me is like a movie which i really dnt belived it happening to me. it started. it so complicated! ep. 1 on my 18th birthday. 15.08.09 we been friend from a long time i guess couple year but only recently we started talking again. i always had crush on him ever since high school and i thought by now come on by now i should be over it. well found out that wen i saw him again my crush was still here. he was always joking around so i never thought it was real and plus he has a gf! but i know i couldnt hide my feeling no more. he always knew i had a crush on him. well i was suprised wen he knew i still had feeling for him. at first i thought he was joking around we lying on the same bed cause my birthday party was at my house and he came early to help. therefore after setting up everything. i was tried so i lyed on my bed. then he jump on and lyed right nxt to me. my heart started to beat so fast. i was like wtf get off my bed. but he didnt and things got werid. he was being very touchy as in touching me while we both lied on the bed and saying stuffs like i be your bf for tonight. [i thought he was just joking] ep.2 a day before my friend 18th birthday the most funny thing is that we were friends for along time and yeah his older than me by 1yr so his 19th and im 18th and that he also was worked for my family. so we see each other often. well let me just say he took my first kiss. it happen because i had to drive him home that night. just like that in the car the whold atmosphere got all werid. everything happen so fast we were kissing in the car and yeah his was all touchy again. we were kiss and his ask me if i wanted to do it[sex] i was like no. he ask how about after tomorrow party [after my friends 18] i was like i think about it so he actually thought that i would have sex with tomorrow after my firends 18 birthday pary. [mayb a part of me wanted it] ep. 3 on my friend 18th birthday we got to the party he started to get piss off at me on my friends 18th after we had the kiss a day before at the party he saw me talking to a guy. so he acted all piss off at me. and i got piss off at him wen my friend the birthday girl told me that he had sex with his gf and she told me not to rush into anything she was the only person who knew what i was going through. i said to him im not ur gf i dnt think u have the right to get angry at me. so i also said that to myself im not his gf i dnt have the right to care what he does with his gf. all i feel is that i gave my first kiss to the wrong guy? so that night we both got piss off at each other. on the night the birthday girl my friend notice that wen i talk to other ppl i was in a nice voice but wen i talk to him my voice is all piss off and very mean. after friends birthday i couldnt sleep y? cause i was confuss and thinkning about him alot about my first kiss gone and that he had a gf. i felt really bad already so i stop working for my family and focus of my studies. so i wouldnt have to see him again. i stopped myself from see him. i try stop my feeling for him. but i couldnt it was my first kiss. it means alot. i know his not a great guy in another words a player he is. well i had a break from him about 3 weeks and he knew that i was avoiding him. so he back off. ep.4 so many question needed answered. i couldnt take it anymore i couldnt focus on my study i was crying alot and i was in pain i had so many question i need answered so i went to see him. i went by his house he came up and we were talking in the car. i had so many question i need answers for. it was hard at first to ask him. i said to him it all because of him i couldnt focus anything in my life i couldnt focus on my work and i had werid dream every night about him. and that i wanted to know what his was thinking. then he said he really miss me wen i had the 3wk break from him. because he didnt see me at work and he started to have werid dream about me too. well it was [sex dreams] i ask him alot of question which i dnt know if i should believed him. and that he knew that i was piss off at him at my firends birthday party. i ask him if he really wanted sex he can just do it with his gf. but he didnt answered. ep.5 a mistake he text me and asked that day if i was doing anything i had a feeling that he wanted this relationship to take a step forward. cut to the chase i made the biggest mistake in my life i think. wen every time wen we are alone things get werid. it that my whole body just feel like im in his spell and do wat ever. then we went back to his house and we did it in his room [sex]. my first time was gone but it wasnt his first time. i also knew he had a record of alot of ex gfs and that he did it with them too which mean he already did it with his current gf too. after that shit ! i felt even more confuss. it was a great experince in the bright side but i am a 3rd person. yeah i was thinking that this relationship was friends with benefits. ep.6 confuss after we had that relationship it was a slicent break. was it just a one night stand did he play me i didnt know. he also didnt come to work which i had no chance to ask him. i started to call him that day but he didnt pick up i thought that i was had been played. well the next day his call me and yeah told me why u didnt pick up his phone. something it very werid between me and him we i dont ask for explaination he always seem to explain what he gonna do or where he was or what his up to. and he get piss of at me random stuff. i know im a 3rd person i dnt have the right to let anyone know what happening between me we had to act like we still just friend around everyone. i know when he on his phone i have to keep slicent because he cant let his gf know that his with another girl. i know! all i feel is pain everytime i want to leave him he pull me back. ep.7 blusted ? well just say that we just did have sexually relationship not once but a second time. well after the second time we did at his house i went home and i was on msn and i thought it was him that on msn. so i started to chat but it wasnt him it was his gf. i was like shit ! i never meet his gf. i know how she looks like. so i felt really bad talkind to her. but i didnt want to talk to her but she was talkin to me so told me alot of stuff between him and her. i was like you guys are very sweet together. next she told me to watch a video he made for her. it was a video of him saying he loves her 20time. after watching the video it was like someone had just cut through my heart. than he started to text me and i told him that his gf was talking to me he told me not to talk to her so i stopped talking to her. i was told him i feel very jealous about the video and i feel very bad for being 3rd. so i hanged up on him after i told him i feel bad after that he texted me "dnt be jealous and be happy" he actually throught i was cryin on the phone but im a girl that will never cry infront of anyone but alone. ep.8 it time to move on i told myself it time to move on and put this behind me as a chapter of my life. i told myself it better have love than never had eperince at all. i wanted to move on but he has some of my stuff since we share alot of stuff [which are not gifts] so i need to get these stuff back before i move on. i think i just giving myself excuse to stay. i dnt know where i heading i dnt know how this would end. from now i still dnt know what right or what wrong. i feel my life very complicated and still today 2. october 2009 i still thinking what i should be doing. i feel very bad for letting my friend down i told myself many time that i moving on. i lied to so many ppl already. i feel very bad being a 3rd person. and still here crying about what i should or shouldnt be doing. i feel like im a slut i feel like i am a very bad person. there is never a good ending for 3rd person. and plus i know i still very like him and i dnt want him to break up with his gf for me than i feel very bad so yeah i feel lost now and even though his only with his current gf for 2months i dnt want him to break up with her she seem very nice. than it make me feel bad what should i be doing? what should i do?
ohh this is pretty touching..... on the one hand i think youre pretty strong but on the other hand i think you're .... sry no to say that but ... youre a bit stupid. cuz you knew from the beginning that he had a gf but you still............... but dont be angry at yourself. cuz we all are human and we all do mistakes. try to forget about all these things what happened... dunno if yure still friends but reading from your story i think hes just an asshole and a player. so better forget him ~ and the most important thing is... life still goes on.... youre still young. school is very important. its sad if u get bad marks at school because of your love relationship. focus more on school and just forget the player. if he plays with you, he will also play with other girls. i dunno what kind of person you are but if you really want a real relationship, find someone else..... ......... and im really sure that time can heal you =)
I agree with Tisken, he seems like a player. Haven't been with his current girlfriend very long and yet he cheats on her and telling her "I love you" at the same time. I don't think you did anything wrong, you just happened to fall for the wrong guy just like many people do. Love makes you blind
i am the 4th person in my relationship, which is just to carry the other 3 persons' shoes and clean their poops. I know right , it sucks.
wow,you seems a nice girl but that was blinded by love. This boy has been playing with your feelings,he's a playboy apparently...friends...he's not even a friend..i would advise you to ignore him because you may crack...
i know how u r feeling. its quite difficult to let go especially since he was ur 1st. but i think u did the right thing by moving on. and i think u need to continue to do so. it will b a very difficult road to take but its sumthing that u NEED to do. from ur story, sorry to say, but the guy does seem like he just played u. u dont deserve to b played like that. i think the best thing for u to do right now is to not talk to him. force urself to not think about him. i am in the same situation as u. i recently just broke up with my 1st bf and i am too trying to get over him. so i can understand how ur feeling. for a guy to b able to hurt u this much, that isnt the guy ur looking for. i hope u will continue to stay strong and move on. and dont ever fall for his traps again. best of luck to you.
ok thanks you guys for giving me advice ! i will stay strong and hope to forget him ! thank to mizzenda, mJ9 Dragon Buster,isis and Tisken for the advices
yeah you should move on! stay strong! a guy like this doesnt deserve any love from you... he should at least grow up... don't give him any chance to use you again... coz thats what he's been doing to you! well... good luck!
[lol i actually miss out this thread?] all those encouragement & advises are already given so i dont wanna bs more. its understandable (at least to me) to be blind & unable to see things clearly when u show them ur truest. really hard to find someone who is actually being serious, esp ppl nowadays...they just wanna play god bless you.
from what i read, i know what it's like to love a people and then being hurt.. this is exactly like your situation. first of all, ask yourself.. do u really think that he has the deep feeling on you or just interested in having sex with u??? i am a guy and i know what guy's feeling inside... some are just an asshole and jackass and that goes to ur guy right there (sry for saying such a thing)... i just want you to understand one thing.. it is not worth for u to sacrifice and cry for a guy that is playing with your feeling.. you deserved so such more than that.. i know it is hard for u to move on to another one, but i am sure that one day, u will find a guy that treats u that way u deserved to be treated..and then u'll understand what it means to love and being loved by someone and that would be ur true love...just wait for the times to come...
thanks for your advice , it good to hear it for a guy point for view, yeah i still tryin to move on and leave it in the past, but it harder than i thought it would be. one side of me dnt want to let go but i know i have to. i will try to stay strong but everytime i try to let go. he doesnt let me go and i end up not going !
every time wen i want to move on his pulls me back. it seem like im not going anywhere ! i dnt want to end up in the stage where his gf find out that his cheating on her because of me. i dnt want to end up where ppl talk behind my back about me ! god so dnt know what i can do !
He took your first kiss, big deal, he took your first time, big deal, nowadays it doesn't matter anymore. So forget about that guy and move on, if he drags you back, is time to treat him to some pain, tell everyone the guy is a cheat, there no need to hold back on a person like him.
isnt it in the movies the actor that plays your part always end up miserable in the end? n im sorri but he pretty much played you from the start. he knows that you liked him and there was nothing to hold him back from doing what he does to u anymore. and dnt call urself a slut oz u dnt sleep around with other guys....
the only advice i can give you is to move on and ignore him and put him in the past, as you already said, being with him was just another chapter of your life, life goes on..dont stay miserable just cause of some asshole who played you..i really feel sorry for youT_T..hope you move on from this ASAP and find a new guy who actually treats you a lot better and can show you what love is really about =]..good luck <3
1st time(s) matter to people who are sentimental.... and obviously matters to this gurlie esp. when ya dont get another 1st...
Man, what's with these long epic love stories... But yea, this dude is no good for you... He'll bang any girl that he thinks he has the upper hand Even if he broke up with his current gf and goes out with you.. He'll probably be cheating on you behind your back
Meet him in person, and ask him who he really wants. If he gives you the wrong answer. Kick him in the balls and when he falls to the ground, stomp it.
ok thanks for the new advices to flaming, xzmicozx, ruoyi, brown_bear, AC0110 and weakniz. sorry to AC00110 if the story i wrote was to long and thanks to Brown_bear u sure know wat a first time means to a girl ! and i understand what u guys mean. thanks for the option of not letting it become a big deal thanks to flaming. and yeah i will sure try to meet up with him and find the truth - thanks for your advie weakniz
