No Sex Tonight

Discussion in 'Love and Relationships' started by fearless_fx, Jun 17, 2007.

  1. fearless_fx

    fearless_fx Eugooglizer

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
    much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
    never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

    FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
    bed.

    Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel
    like it, I just want you to hold me.”

    I said “WHAT??!! What was that?!”

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…
    “You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
    to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to my puzzled look
    by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
    the bedroom?”

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
    her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
    unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
    several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to
    take so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
    compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
    went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
    earrings. Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought I was
    one wave short of a shipwreck.
    I started to think she was testing me because
    she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play
    tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.”
    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
    Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all
    dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel
    like it.”

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
    WHAT?”

    I then said “honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re
    just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
    your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had this look like she
    was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and
    not for the things I buy you?”

    Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either.
     
  2. Knoctur_nal

    Knoctur_nal |Force 10 from Navarone|

    16,563
    662
    29
    now that was pretty damn hilarious...hahahahahah
     
  3. [N]

    [N] RATED [ ]

    LMAO, thats fucking playa shit right there
     
  4. Taxloss

    Taxloss Stripper Vicar

    -lol ownage first class!
     
  5. Knoctur_nal

    Knoctur_nal |Force 10 from Navarone|

    16,563
    662
    29
    he should make a chain.."bitch got owned"...with flashing lights...snap....
     
  6. philostrate

    philostrate Well-Known Member

    ahahahaha did u break up?
     
  7. [N]

    [N] RATED [ ]

  8. kdotc

    kdotc 안녕하세요빅뱅K-Dragon입니다

    its ok....sex tomoro night lol
     
  9. ckthepilot

    ckthepilot Well-Known Member

    383
    53
    0
    lol funny story :D
     
  10. aishiteru4

    aishiteru4 Well-Known Member

    1,306
    86
    0
    oh god.... u mean thing!
     
  11. Knoctur_nal

    Knoctur_nal |Force 10 from Navarone|

    16,563
    662
    29
    paybacks a bitch aint it...
     
  12. BabyRain

    BabyRain Doppelgänger of da E.Twin

    I thought I've read this somewhere... -rolleyes
     
  13. pinkapples

    pinkapples Well-Known Member

    549
    68
    0
    Lol....I am just speechless hahahah.....I think both of you are still together cause both of u are as hilarious and as crazy as each other.....All the games, well lets put it this way, payback sex might be 10 times better -bigclap if you play your cards right Honey hahahaha
     
  14. subaru3169

    subaru3169 Well-Known Member

    690
    68
    0
    ya.. i think this is urban myth or something.. but is super funny
     
  15. Taxloss

    Taxloss Stripper Vicar

    ^^ Don't think that's Fearless' own story.....-rolleyes
     
  16. rsx

    rsx Well-Known Member

    520
    68
    0
    ^HAHAHA, that's almost as bad as the other two.

    Priceless.
     
  17. lee-lee

    lee-lee Well-Known Member

    1,384
    86
    0
    haha...halfway thru reading the story at the part where he's buying all the stuff, all i could think was,-->dump her, i'll go out with u.
     
  18. fearless_fx

    fearless_fx Eugooglizer

    lol its not my story, but im not above doing something like this. Gotta keep hoes like this in their place

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
  19. 無得頂

    無得頂 Well-Known Member

    1,252
    86
    0
    This is a typical story. Not surprised at the ending.
     
  20. Knoctur_nal

    Knoctur_nal |Force 10 from Navarone|

    16,563
    662
    29
    watch out for that occasional wonder woman that will hit ya ass back:
    [​IMG]