Long story short, i've been with my gf for about 3 years. She asked me would I leave her if she doesn't work. I told her it's not because you don't work, but if you have a spending problem to the point where we'd lose our home and not realize and get help, then I'd leave. Am I wrong here? She went off crying and saying you don't love me and such .... I told her its basically the same thing, if I get addicted to alcohol and gambling, to the point where I don't get help, you'd leave too, but she said no i wont, I'd help you till I die. I highly doubt that .. Any thoughts? Have you guys discussed with your partner about extreme situations like that?
In her mind that translate to: "She has a spending problem. You will leave her." Any "It's not because", "but" and "if-then" are all removed from the sentence.
Maturity. It's one of the few traits you don't think a lot about when you first meet a girl, but it sure comes back to bite you in the ass when you find out she can't approach a problem like this in a more productive fashion.
Ha you walked right into that trap... girls are stupid. I apologize on behalf of my sex... As a woman who strives to be independent, I think what she says is ridiculous. Not work entirely and allow you to take care of her? Unless she meant 'If I lost my job, and I was unemployed for a long period of time, would you leave me?'. Which... I highly doubt. Whatever, what's said is said. If she loves you, etc, she'll get over it. If all else fails, buy her something =p
lol some women preach about equality with the male sex and then back out whenever it's convenient. We don't have her side of the story, but from the OP's description it sounds pretty much like she wants to know if he'll support her if she decides to stop working. If my girlfriend was unemployed temporarily I'd be fine with it, but if she was unemployed and not managing finances responsibly, nor actively looking for a new job, I'd probably only put up with it for so long. Anyway, your solution is correct. Buying her something will solve this issue for at least one month.
I think I would have told her the same thing.... if she is out of work and does not have a good enough reason to not be working but spending money on materialistic thing. I don't see how it is fair for me to provide 100% of the expenses while she is spending it like its nothing... unless I make a fucking boat load and I can live comfortably... but that isn't the case.
Well, I don't preach equality. It is what it is. But I still want to be able to support myself and not be so dependent on someone. You're right, we don't have the full story. For all we know, she could be curious, because of marriage, kids, etc.
If you love a person you will never leave them in any situation. That is what girls love and want. If you love her then you would have said no i wont leave. Life is unpredictable, but if you can spend it with one you love then you will have to regret.
I actually really like how there's the expectation for women to support themselves here. I feel like this conversation wouldn't even be considered a few decades ago
=/ but how can u love a person with no ambitions... doesnt matter if its male or female.... people with no goals in life in general, who dont want to work and think they can benefit from others, just can't stand those... it would have been different if she said, if i take care of the kids and work part time, would u be okay with that? now she's just saying, can i be lazy and do nothing and live off your money?
You brought up a good point. I think the key difference is that in your scenario, the kids need someone to take care of them. So in that situation, some dudes wouldn't mind someone to stay at home to look after the kids, and where the dude is the only one who works. The vice-versa also seems to be a growing trend as well. However, if there isn't an urgent need at home, then probably staying at home and do nothing is a no no.
