i have a house mate that just gives me the silent treatment and it's been going on since last year. she just stopped talking to me all of a sudden. at first i thought it was just bc we had nothing to talk about. then i started noticing that she deliberately doesnt answer unless i address her directly. it's like she's doing the whole silent treatment thing but doesnt want me to know? it's been about a year or so and i still dont know what's wrong. i ask and she says nothing is wrong. since she's a house mate at school, i've always wake up late at night to their laughing at me but im sure its bigger than just me telling to be quieter at night [i told them twice nicely to not be loud at night since i have work early in the morning]. i've asked a couple people about what to do and some say to talk to her, others say "ignore it, it's stupid of her." Edit: Phil- lol i didnt steal her bf. I actually dont know what happened. I barely remember talking to her. ProjectD- well, that was last semester living in an apartment with them. i'm now moving in with different people.
lol wow 1 year, lol , you guys must some serious issues, lol did u steal her BF or something? make her look stupid?
wow horrible roomy =/ if you cant really deal with it anymore you could always i onno ask the person in charge a move to a diff room
How to Confront Someone Who's Giving You the Silent Treatment Are you getting the cold shoulder, but you don't know why? Is someone who's normally eager to speak to you now keeping your conversations to the bare minimum? This can be hurtful, frustrating, and confusing. Here's how to confront the person who's ignoring you without making things worse. Steps Make sure you're not just being paranoid. Perhaps he or she is being quiet because someone in his family is ill, or is having personal problems. In this case, you shouldn't take it personally - let them have their space. But, if you notice that this person is only acting quietly towards you and not towards others, and for an extended period of time (maybe they're just having a bad day) then you may have reason to be concerned. Question your behavior. When did they start giving you the silent treatment? What happened that day, or the days right before their behavior changed? Could you have done or said something that was insensitive? Did something change? Try to understand what could set off the silence. Narrow it down to a few possibilities and try to think of how you can fix the situation. Rehearse what you're going to say. It's easy to get nervous and/or defensive, or to come off the wrong way, if you aren't prepared. Close your eyes and imagine you're alone with this person and say out loud what you want to say. Begin by apologizing if you did something to offend or hurt the person, even if you're not sure what it is. Say something like "Look, I'm sorry if I've done or said something stupid to you." Tell them that you value their company or friendship. (E.g. "I've really enjoyed spending time/working with you.") Let him or her know that if something bothering them, you're all ears. Offer to leave them alone. After all, a silent treatment indicates that he or she no longer wants to speak with you for whatever reason. If they won't share or discuss the reason, there's not much else you can do. Just have the person confirm openly that he or she wants you to stop talking to them. If they say yes, they want you to leave them alone, then leave them alone. If they say no, or not really, or I'm not sure, then say something like "Well, what's going on? Maybe we can figure something out together." Speak to the person when you're alone and are unlikely to be interrupted. Pat yourself on the back - confronting someone takes courage, and you've handled it as best and as maturely as you could! Tips Your objective should be to let the person know that (1) you didn't mean to offend or insult them, (2) you've tried to understand their point of view, (3) if they want to address something with you, they can, and (4) if they want to keep the reasons to themselves and stop talking with you, you'll respect their wishes. If you make them feel pressured to tell you what's on their mind, or if you offer guilt or more coldness in return, you might reinforce their behavior and miss a chance to save the relationship. Keep in mind that no one can be obligated to speak to you. Everyone has the right not to speak to anyone they like. If someone else has made that choice and chooses not to reconsider, your role becomes finding a way to accept that. At some point, it's no longer about the other person. Warnings Don't feel guilty for failing as a mind reader. You can do your best to understand why this person no longer wants to associate with you, but for them to clam up and expect you to figure things out on your own is unrealistic and exhibits poor communication skills on their part. If he or she keeps giving you the silent treatment every time your relationship hits a bump in the road, and you've made it clear that you're receptive to hearing their perspective, then maybe the relationship is better off silent. The silent treatment is a form of control, which in turn is a form of abuse. Don't buy into it!
if u don't care abt them, or they take no priority in ur life then it doens' tmatter ignore them =) u got better things in life to worry abt
wow .. you have like .. the exact same problem as someone i know. and i will tell you what i always tell her the thing is, when people give you the silent treatment, they don't tell you why. so you're stuck wondering if you did something wrong or not. but you'll never know, unless you ask, and they probably won't answer. but, there's a chance that you didn't do anything wrong, and your roommate is really petty and maybe holds a grudge for something really really small that you did a year ago. on the other hand, there are people out there that don't like people for any reason, so that might be your roommate in this case but for either case, if she's been mad at you for a whole year or if she just doesn't like you, i don't see any reason why you would want to be friends with a person like that. i know it's easier said than done (and people have obviously told you before), but i think you should just ignore her. it can't be that hard , she's been doing it to you for a whole year
hmmm just settle it once and for all. if it still continues then screw it, no need to stress yourself over this.
