Ever happened to you? Like you don't like that person, but certain things you do (unintentionally) makes that person believe that you do? Then when the truth comes out, the person gets pissed and claims that you led them on ect. Well, one of my friends is going through this right now. There's this guy that likes her and he calls her up like every single day. She talks to him because he has a really messed up life (he practically lives in his car) and his best friend and him are currently in this huge dispute. Anyways my friend doesn't want to ignore his calls because he doesn't have anybody else to talk to and she wants to help him overcome his depression. To make a short story even shorter, she knows that he likes her, but she's developed a crush on someone else, and she recently let him in on this. A few days ago, he text msg's her and asked her why she led him on, and talked to him on the phone all the time when she didn't even like him and a whole bunch of other stuff. He felt that she was interested in him because she's always trying to comfort him and talking to him even though she knew it'd never work out b/t the 2 of them. Anyways, the problem has since been taken care of, but her situation has made me realize that sometimes being TOO nice to someone can be a wrong signal. What do you guys think?
i agreeeeeeeeee holy cow back in middle school there were a few girls that liked me i had no idea about this and i just went on being who i was and then i finally found out they liked me and they got pissed at me said i led them on for no reason i don't get girls ...i was just being myself
I guess I have a problem with attracting the wrong type of people. It seems I always end up attracting guys I don't like... and scaring away the ones that I do like -_-2 I mean, those guys who end up liking me are really not my cup of tea. And yes, I agree that being too nice to someone usually ends up backfiring.
mmm tea -drool... there is tea right!? I mean don't lead me on to thinking there's tea and there isn't -shock... I just can't take that kinda lie!! -cry2
maybe cuz u look cute to them. In anycase, you can be mean and therefore people know when you're actually being nice. Less complications. HAHA
I have the same problem with attracting the wrong people; mostly the felons or psychos. It's probably how you approach the hot guys (or how you don't) that you've seen that makes them not attracted to you. Maybe I often send out the wrong signals because lately, all these white boys are trying to dip into the honey... Anyway, just because I talk to you and just because I'm nice to you, it doesn't mean that I'm interested in you. Girls & guys can be just friends. A month ago, I accidentally threw my car keys into the trash dumpster along with my garbage. I was trying to get it back out, and suddenly, my neighbor comes rushing out to help me get it by jumping into the dumpster to get it for me. I thought he was just a really nice guy cause I've never talked to him nor seen him before. Anyway, so I thanked him and went on my merry way. About a week later, when I was out for my run, I bumped into him while he was on his way to do laundry. We talked for a bit, and that was it. Then, the other day, he came to my apartment and asked me out... -shrug If the girl is calling you up or being a little more physical with you, then she should be interested in you. Otherwise, if you just talk with each other like friends, then maybe she just wants to be friends. I'm not very good at conveying the 'I'm not interested' signals either. This one guy at work has been badgering me for months now. I've gotten in trouble @ work already because he's always around talking to me, or talking on his cell phone near my cube. I do my best to avoid him. Like, a group of my coworkers go out for lunch every friday, and I used to go. But ever since he started going, I've stopped just so I can stay away. He used to stay @ work 'till mad late to walk with me to the parking lot, but nowadays, I just pretend like I'm staying @ work 'till like midnight so I won't have to walk with him. I try not to talk to him & stuff, but when I don't respond to his e-mails, he just keeps e-mailing me. It's gotten to a point where I've had enough, but I don't know how to tell him to go away. 2 weeks ago, when I didn't respond to his e-mail, he e-mails me back saying, 'You're either really busy or I'm old and not funny.' I so wanted to e-mail him back and tell him it's neither... it's option 3, you're mad annoying! But I didn't. I emailed him back & told him that I'm really busy & I need to get all my work done before finals next week. He emails me back... 5 times!!! What's his problem?! Seriously, guys need to understand that not all girls who are nice to them are interested in them; girls need to understand the same thing.
He suffers from obsessive compulsive behavior. -lol Either that or he's just delusional. lol Anyway, even though I'm bad with sending guys signals, I can usually pick up signals from other guys when they are interested in me.
Wow, Shy... I'm sorry you have to put up with such a putz. This guy sounds like a grade-A tool to me. Here is an idea that might work -- try using the word "boyfriend" around him. Even if you don't have one, if he thinks you do it might make him back off. Just a passing comment like (I can't wait for my boyfriend to come pick me up!). If you want to be really diabolical, send yourself some flowers and show them off to him saying "AWWW he is SOOOOOO sweet!!" Puhahaha -rotfl If that doesn't work, then say something like "One of the other girls in the office told me they like you, but I can't say who it is." Then he'll go nuts trying to figure out who it is, and hopefully, his focus will change from you to some other poor soul... No wait, on second thoughts, no, don't do that. Being such a deluded creature that he is, this fellow would probably take the chance and entertain the idea that by saying that, you are secretly hinting that you too, like him. (i.e. you are that "one of the other girls" and you are too shy to tell him it's you) There are some guys who are so desperate that they are willing to buy any remotely possible scenario than to really pick up hints. lol... in short, he is a guy who is looking out for positive signals and ignoring the rest that are negative. Self-deluding maybe? rofl Honestly, if I were you, I'd just report his ass to the HR and have them deal with him. Another option would be to tell him straight to his face that he makes you uncomfortable and that you don't like him. Obviously, this dude needs a head bang direct. You know, with guys like this... I really would've just emailed him back and said: "Both. You are old and not funny, and I'm mad busy thinking of ways on how to shun you!" -lol Now lets see how he replies to a blatant insult as such. -tongue2
shy, Well......... The guy obviously likes U. But U can tell him U have a boyfriend and he should stop bothering U. If that doesn't work, just tell him U R a man-hater. U hate all men. So that would probably make him stop. Now, if that still doesn't work, then U should do something disgusting ... so disgusting so that U actually turn him off. Like next time U talk to him, just pick your nose or fart in public... That should definitely work! -lol Hm, yeah, any way you can call sexual harassment on his ass? I'm not sure you'd have a case, but maybe just the mention of it could scare him off...
Before, I would generally be able to tell if a person likes me, but nowadays, I tend to be in denial, and I refuse to recognize the signs until after the fact. I'm like a retard when it comes to reading signals from guys cause I'm so oblivious that I never know if somebody likes me until they come out & say it. But what I've noticed is that guys who are interested in me generally become mad nice and always do things around my schedule. And then they call me up & talk nonsense to me & then later apologize for being stupid? A few weeks ago, I mentioned that I was celebrating my 1-year anniversary with my boyfriend (my co-worker doesn't know that the boyfriend = my car). Anyway, so he responded back with, "What? Your imaginary boyfriend?" I didn't really appreciate that... but I said no, I have a real boyfriend. But obviously, he didn't buy it. I'm not a man-hater, but I shun on everybody who has workplace relationships. I always talk about how that totally grosses me out & how inappropriate it is. Yet, for some reason he thinks he's exempt? & no, I'm not going to pick my nose or fart in public. That's just downright disgusting & I would be demoralizing myself if I did that just to shoo off a guy. wth is it about me that attracts an ishload of psychos?!
That's a good question, you should think about that one more haha. Actually, guys generally don't get it while women aren't direct enough for men to understand, so it's a never ending cycle of confusion. I actually find it funny that these guys are giving you crazy ideas (that are either degrading, don't work, or way overboard). -lol
Thanks! Look, truth is, you already know what you need to do to get rid of this guy. You're just too nice to do it. If you were truly confused, you would have been asking for help in the post anyways, not ranting about it. So what's left to do but laugh at the crazy ideas?
-lol I was just kidding about the picking the nose/farting part..... but the point is like sometimes the guy likes U cuz U r attractive looking. but if U are made to appear unattractive, that may turn him off. go straight to the source, he's turned on by U so turn him off.... lol. okay so maybe I'm not being serious about this but I've seen it work!
No you would have to go through management or HR before you could do a sexual harassment suit (unless it was your manager doing the harassment, then you go straight to HR) Why do you attract so many psychos? Because psychos love shy girls. -lol
Hey! come on my ideas are never crazy... Oh wait... I didn't post up an ideas this time -lol.... I'll be laughin with ya AVANT!! -lol. Woo... this shit's hittin' like a Haagen-Dazs Mango Sorbet on a Tuesday Nite... oh wait... I happen to some Haagen-Dazs Mango Sorbet with me right now..-bigsmile
