Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Hubby : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?" ________________________________________________________________________ Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet. ________________________________________________________________________ Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap. _______________________________________________________________________ Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?" Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear." Wife to husband: "What? At 2 am?!" Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs." ________________________________________________________________________ Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire to?" Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife." Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?" Millionaire: "A Billionaire" _______________________________________________________________________ Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever. The guy replies: Thanks for the warning. _______________________________________________________________________ Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S. ? Answer: Because people started licking the wrong side. ________________________________________________________________________ A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me - my pretty face or my sexy body? He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humour. ________________________________________________________________________ Doctor to his lady patient: You look terribly weak and exhausted! Are you having your meals three times a day as I have advised? Lady replied: Doctor, I thought you said three males a day.
kekekekeke... but i guess u can pretty much guess the punch lines for most of them... but nice to c something that brings me a smile on a Fri morning...
A little boy got an assignment from school to find out the difference between "potentially" and "realistically". He goes home and asked his father. His father told him to ask his mom "would you sleep with the mailman for 1 million dollars". The mom said "yes" so the boy went back to the father, then the father ask the son to go ask the daughter the same question. The daughter said "yes", so the father said "So son, potentially we are sitting on 2 million dollars, but realistically we are living with 2 whores".
