Alright this is the deal, this question is targetted mainly for girls, but maybe other guys can hook it up too... When the guy gets really uptight, and strict on the girl.. I mean like to the point where he restricts her social activities and the way she dresses... but he only does it because he cares.. if you were the girl, would you feel all trapped and uncomfortable?? And guys, any tips?? btw, I'm asking this for a friend and his relationship isn't steering in the best of direction. I guess I would consider him as one of those traditional "big man" type of guy... he's been trying to cut down... but he tells me that he really doesn't see the reason why he should let his girlfriend dress skimpy to go to a club with her friends... he's not a party pooper, but he just doesn't want unneccessary things to happen to her... she sort of understands and knows that he does it only because he cares, but she also feels trapped from it... I'm friends with both of them so I'm kinda like trapped in the middle. What advice should I offer these two?
I view your friend as a controlling type of guy. It's understandable that he's looking out for the safety of his girlfriend, but if he is taking it to the extreme limits of controlling what she can wear and social activities, then he is sacrificing his girlfriend's livelihood for his own personal enjoyment. If he is as loving and caring as you say he is, then he should trust his girlfriend's judgment and decisions. She is old enough to make her own decisions. Understand that he's not her parent. If her parents are not saying anything about her activities or her attire, then who is he to say anything? Being a boyfriend isn't just about caring, you have to understand things from her perspective as well. How much of an outcast will she be if she stepped into a club dressing as conservatively as a nun? As a girl, I wouldn't want to date a guy who has something to say about what I'm wearing and what I'm doing. I do stuff on my own terms, and the guy that I'm dating should have enough confidence and faith in me to know that I won't be doing anything stupid. It all has to do with trust.
I'm all for a guy looking out for his girl. After all, a man should make his girl feel safe when she's around him. I don't agree with his methods tho. It maybe because I don't see clubbing with girlfriends as that big a deal. Yes guys will probably hit on her... so? Girls are hit on all the time in all kinds of places... as long as she faithfully and safely comes home to me at the end of it all, then I'm cool with it. ...so I say that guy needs to open his eyes.
from my own experiences, it sounds like the guy is just getting a little too possesive... its ok to make sure the girl is fine, but if he is getting to control the way she dresses then ther is somethng wrong -- i mean he started dating her and she would have presumably had the same dress sense so why change her now? girls tell me that they would feel that this is when the guy is getting possive/insecure to dress her down so she dun look as attractive etc... for your friend, tell him to take a step back and ask why he's feeling that way...
