So lately I just find myself wanting to talk to someone, anyone, about some things that bother/sadden me. Previously, maybe about a year or two ago, I went through this entire depression phase where I pretty much ragged about my life to those who I thought could help me about how I feel like I have no friends, blah blah blah or ragging about life in general. And then some people thought I did it so I would get attention. So I find myself not talking to anyone anymore about anything in my life for fear of people thinking I want attention (which I suppose has caused isolation in many cases). What's the line between being "depressed" for attention or really wanting someone to just listen? Or is there no difference?
I dont know what ur reason is to feel sad so u are the only one who can say if its really sadness or just self pity.... i will just tell u how i think about it... Dont really know but sadness is when u just feel really bad about something and that can become self pity when u just keep whining about it and dont try to find a solution to feel better and just keep thinking negative thoughts and feel so sorry for ur self by doing that u will feel even worse. i guess at some point u just gotta choose...get over feeling bad and say... "well i feel bad...which sucks but better find something else to focus on and move on...." or continue feeling sorry about urself, keep nagging and act like an old whiner. I'd say go for the first option because option two is not going to make anyone happier.... There are days that im unhappy and i dont even really know why... I keep asking myself why im sad but after a few days it just fades away... If it really bothers me i do talk about it with friends and after that i just get over it... Hope u will get over ur self pity or sadness very soon... just think of the positive things in ur life....im sure uve got some real good friends/family who care about u & love u very much......why dont u focus on that for a bit Good luck & wish u all the best! -flow-flow-flow-flow oh btw...when i feel bad i feel like spoiling myself why dont u go shopping & treat urself that bag uve always wanted to have, get away for a weekend or to a nice spa with ur friends ?
^haha. i'd love to go to the spa for a weekend! but, unfortunately, i'm broke. my real question is, i suppose, can i tell my friend about stuff i just want to get off my chest or should i not (because they'll see it as self-pity)? i don't think it is.
if they are really ur friends...why wouldnt u?!? if they keep saying u need attention u should ask them: "dont i deserve attention? am i not ur friend? or am i only ur friend when im happy? how would u feel if u felt sad and i would say something like that to u?" Let me tell u one thing...bad times are times when u can see who ur real friends and who are just phonies... phony means ----> chuck them in the bin!
hey if you wanna talk about stuff you can always make threads on PA prolly alot of people will give you "usefull" information GL
I think there is just a fine line between those two. For me, I would think 'being sad' and depressed and needing a listening ear, is fine; but when you go on and on ranting about it to people, just about anyone u met... while you already knew what is your problem(s) be it someone pointing them out to you, or you are aware of it urself, and yet not do something about it, then that's self-pity... For example, if you think you have no friends, or you are a loner.. then ask urself why? Is it bcoz of your attitude and the way you treat ur friends? Or was it bcoz you just mixed with the wrong group? If you think the problem doesn't lie with you, then move on and find another group of friends. Friends are easily made, but not easy to maintain. That's life. Another example is a person is fat and overweight, then keeps complaining to others about it while feeding another piece of chocolate into his/her mouth. That to me, is self-pity. Whatever it is, I think a person has the right to be depressed and sad, but there is also a time limit where the person should then pick him/herself up and move on and work toward the betterment of his/herself and 'solve' his/her problems. And if you are bothered by something that cannot be changed, then you haf to learn to accept it. I think you should. People have different ways of letting off stress. Some people need to confide in others about their problems, yet some don't like talking about it. Whatever rocks your boat. If you need a listening ear, then find a close friend whom you can trust to confide in. If the friend cares about you, he/she wouldn't think badly of you, and would offer his/her 'advice' if you asked for it... However, if you keep repeating the same problem and telling him/her about it even after he/she told you about his/her opinion(s), then that might be stretching it.
hah. I think I use to be like that when I was younger but I realised that it is a cold cold world ..especially when you a sad...you have to look for positives in life... So when I get in that mood, I go do something that keeps my mind focused...like the gym etc etc.
yeah I totally know what you're saying. sometimes, these feelings just come out of nowhere. it would be nice to have a friend to talk about it with, but I would only talk to a friend you know you can depend on. otherwise, they'll just think you're doing it for attention. obviously if they can't understand what you're going through, they haven't felt this way before, and good for them. I agree with angie. if you keep talking about it then that's just for attention, but if you say it and try to do something about it, then it's fine hope you feel better ^^ these things usually pass after a while
I dont think you are ranting to get attention. At certain point of points of our life, it is normal where our views and values shift hence our mood fluctuates when we realize the situations experienced. Speaking it to someone is definitely good, but who would be the best? From what you've said, i dont quite think the ppl around you quite understood you where you were at when you were at your lowest. Best would be talking to a best friend (providing you have one: doesnt necessarily have to be humans, it could be animals *no jokes intended*). Anyway, hope that you would eventually overcome your fear and find friends that can help you out. Cheers for now
