because those "assholes" are the only jerks not taken "for long"... which makes them avalible all year round to screw with innocent silly girls like us >.< but the more "assholes" you meet, the more you will be able to smell them out in the future and avoid another "asshole" in your life i'm sure every girl has had her share of "stinches".
Its more complicated then you think. Girls tend to go for jerks and pass on the nice guys because woman desire certain traits from a man. Jerks tend to possess these traits such as aggressiveness, assertiveness, dominance, whereas the nice guys are reserved, passive, and basically too nice for their own good. Secondly you have to understand that the difference between men and woman in terms of the ways they choose their mates and how they think. Women think emotionally, whereas men think logically/visually. Women will go for a man that makes her feel, whereas men will go for the most visually appealing one. Another thing is that jerks creates a challenge and provides mystery and excitement. There is never a dull moment with a bad boy. Girls like drama or at least a small amount of it. THey constantly need to feel either ups or downs or else things will seem too stable and boring. Ever wondered why girls love their soap operas and chinese drama shows so much? this is a way for them to experience and feel. When they meet that bad boy they want to have the same feeling as if they are in a soap opera. Again at this state they dont think logically in terms of the consequences of dating a bad boy. The feelings of mystery and excitement consumes them. Lastly bad boys create a challenge. They do not give everything a girl wants and that makes her want to have it even more. This works both ways for guys and girls. Its human nature. We tend to want things we cant have or have a hard time getting. We also want things that other people have or want. This those not apply to every single female out there, but it applies to the majority. Every so often you will find the rare excpetion, the one that goes for the nice, sweet, caring, shy, nice guy. Again this rarely happens. My advice to you ladies is to go for a guy that is 85% nice guy and 15% bad boy. You dont want the guy to treat you like shit, but you do want your guy to be assertive, ambitious, have a back bone and provide some type of excitement in your life. Good luck ladies!!
I'm a girl, and here's the thing. Nice guys are NICE! They're nice to EVERYONE! So how would I be able to determine whether or not he's just being nice to me or if he's just being nice to everyone!? Then that whole mixed signal thing goes hay wire...I blame nice guys for giving mix signals!! If you are a nice guy and you like the girl, just freaking tell her straight up rather than playing mind games! It would ease up a lot on us girls who think the nice guy might like her... Anyway, here's an interesting read for all you 'nice guys' out there: Why "Nice Guys" are often such LOSERS You hear it all the time: "He was such a NICE Guy, and she's such a Heartless b*t*h for dumping him." I get letters from self-professed Nice Guys, complaining that women must WANT to be treated like sh*t, because THEY, the "Nice Guy" have failed repeatedly in relationships. This is akin to the false logic that "Whales are mammals. Whales live in the sea. Therefore, all mammals live in the sea." If you have one bad relationship after another, the only common denominator is YOU. Think about it. What's wrong with Nice Guys? The biggest problem is that most Nice Guys ™ are hideously insecure. They are so anxious to be liked and loved that they do things for other people to gain acceptance and attention, rather than for the simply pleasure of giving. You never know if a Nice Guy really likes you for who you are, or if he has glommed onto you out of desperation because you actually payed some kind of attention to him. Nice Guys exude insecurity -- a big red target for the predators of the world. There are women out there who are "users" -- just looking for a sucker to take advantage of. Users home-in on "Nice Guys", stroke their egos, take them for a ride, add a notch to their belts, and move on. It's no wonder so many Nice Guys complain about women being horrible, when the so often the kind of woman that get's attracted to them is the lowest form of life... Self-confident, caring, decent-hearted women find "Nice Guys" to be too clingy, self-abasing, and insecure. Nice Guys go overboard. They bring roses to a "lets get together for coffee" date. They try to buy her affections with presents and fancy things. They think they know about romance, but their timing is all wrong, and they either come-on too strong, too hard and too fast, OR, they are so shy and unassertive, that they hang around pretending to be "friends", in the hope that somehow, someway, they will get the courage up to ask her out for a "date". They are so desperate to please that they put aside their own needs, and place the object of their desire on a pedestal. Instead of appreciating her, they worship her. We are only human, and pedestals are narrow, confining places to be -- not to mention the fact that we tend to fall off of them. They cling to her, and want to be "one" with her for fear that if she is out of sight, she may disappear or become attracted to someone else. A Nice Guy often has trouble with emotional intimacy, because he believes that if she learns about the REAL person inside, she will no longer love him. Nice Guys are always asking HER to make the decisions. They think it's being equitable, but it puts an unfair burden of responsibility on her, and gives him the opportunity to blame her if the decision was an unwise one. Nice Guys rarely speak up when something bothers them, and rarely state clearly what it is they want, need and expect. They fear that any kind of conflict might spell the end of the relationship. Instead of comprimising and negotiating, they repeatedly "give in". When she doesn't appreciate their sacrifice, they will complain that, "Everything I did, I did for her.", as if this somehow elevates them to the status of martyrs. A woman doesn't want a martyr. She wants an equal, caring, adult partner. Nice Guys think that they will never meet anyone as special as she is. They use their adoration as a foundation for claiming that "no one will ever love her as much as I do." Instead of being a profound statement of their devotion, this is a subtle, but nasty insult. It is akin to saying to her: "You are a difficult person, and only *I* can ever truly love you, so be thankful I'm here." The nice guy -needs- to believe that he is the best person for the object of his desires, because otherwise his insecurities will overrun him with jealousies and fear. The truth of the matter is that there are many people out there who can be a good match for her. We rarely stop loving people we truly care about. Even if we no longer continue the relationship, the feelings will continue... But love isn't mutually exclusive. We can (and do) love many people in our lives, and romantic love is really no different. Though he may love her immensely, there will likely be other people who have loved her just as much in her past, and will love her just as much in the future. The irony of it all is: "Who would want to go out with someone who was inherintly unlovable anyways?" More than loving the woman in his life, a Nice Guy NEEDS her. "She is my Life, my only source of happiness..." YECH! What kind of a burden is that to place on her? That SHE has to be responsible for YOUR happiness? Get a grip! Another mistake Nice Guys make is to go after "hard luck" cases. They deliberately pick women with neuroses, problems, and personality disorders, because Nice Guys are "helpers". A Nice Guy thinks that by "helping" this woman, it will make him a better, more lovable person. He thinks it will give him a sense of accomplishment, and that she will appreciate and love him more, for all his efforts and sacrifice. He is usually disappointed by the results. This ultimately boils down to the fact that Nice Guys don't like themselves. Is it any wonder women don't like them? In order to truly love someone else, you must first love yourself. Too often Nice Guys mistake obsession for "love". Get this Guys: INSECURITY ISN'T SEXY. IT'S A TURNOFF. You don't have to be an ego-inflated, arrogant jerk. You just have to LIKE yourself. You have to know what you want out of life, and go after it. Only then will you be attractive to the kind of woman with whom a long-term relationship is possible. The above is from some site that I do not know. I just saved the text and thought it would be appropriate here
That article above proves some of my points but its harsh to call all nice guys losers. Men and women have insecurities about themselves, so its harsh to label all people with certain insecurities as losers. That article is pretty one sided. It bashes on the nice guy and gives all the credit to the jerks for having the right personality traits, which isnt true. It also leaves the females looking like nothing but innocent bystanders. Females, blame yourself for pretending to want a nice guy. I have heard this so many times how girls say they want a nice guy, but then go after the bad boys. If you want a bad boy say you want a bad boy. If you want assertive say you want assertive. Saying you want a nice guy only sends out mix signals, actually they are the wrong signals. the bottom line is most girls do not know what they want until they feel it and even in that moment they tend to be confuse. Most will get out of this phaze after age 25. I also blame the media for brain washing us with these images of Love. In the movies, the nice guy tends to get the girl at the very end, which isnt true in reality. This gives the nice guys the hope that somehow someway the girl will look beyond the insecurities and finally see the real person inside. The media also teaches us that if we sacrifice for the girl and accomodate to her every need then that will make them like us. My advice for u nice guys out there: Save your money and dont spend too much on a girl. Face value means nothing. If she likes you she will prove her worth. Dont be afraid to tease her. Dont afraid to be alittle cocky. Be a challenge, be assertive. Dont ever stick with someone who doesnt want you in return or has rejected you before. Do not give a lot of attention to one girl. Most girls are attention seeking whores. Do not believe in the "one". Stop thinking this way. There is no the "one". Love is a numbers game. There will be hits and misses. Most people will get more misses than hits and that is acceptable. Dont try to be a girls friend. If she only see you as a friend, leave and stop giving her attention. Find another girl and move on. If she wants you she will find you. Good luck guys.
Thx for giving away our secrets -sweat But lastly, try not to let women know that their man understands this concept. Atleast not in the beginning, they'll often feel that they are being sized up and setup. I have seen women seek such advice for their man that they are ALREADY going out with tho.
Its not that big of a secret. Even if girls know about this they still cant fight what they are attracted to. Attraction is that strong that it over powers logic and reason. Its part of evolution and we are conditioned to react a certain way.
I think its because all the "hot" guys are assholes. Most girls like guys that are hot so they end up going out with assholes.
This whole relationship thing is like a game lol and games are only fun if they're challenging right? So the bad boy that you're fighting for his attention from his love for cars or sports is such a turn-on.
My current gf has dated quite a few guys of which most ppl would consider to be 'assholes'. When I questioned her about it, she told me that it was because those 'assholes' weren't such assholes when they first began dating. She said they knew exactly how to please her and had the smoothest lines. I don't know why girls feel this way, but I'm a guy and I can usually tell right off the bat whether or not a guy is a player/asshole or a nice guy.
Also, (I've never dated a player before, but this is what I've heard from girls who have) I heard that players usually provide a girl with a stronger sense of protection. That's sooo true! I agree that the media has a HUGE impact on the way girls think, especially since we're the ones who are so into the korean/chinese drama series. The 'bad boys' in the movies are always good-looking, and bad AT FIRST, but when they meet that 'ONE' girl (who just so happens to be the main character in the movie) he becomes good again, and many girls apply that concept to the REAL WORLD. Like 'pisha' said, girls (and even guys) like challenges, and they think that if they love a guy enough, they can change him, just like in the movies. Unfortunately, that doesn't always work out.
There is no way for you to tell right off the bat if a guy is serious or if he's just playing mind games with you. As a rule of thumb for girls, regardless if a guy likes you or not, you shouldn't like him just because you think he likes you. Most players are sweet talkers. They know exactly what to say to you to get you thinking or to make your heart flutter. They say things they don't mean just so that they can get into your pants. The 'smooth talk' and what not is to butter you up so that it's easier to slip off your pants. Also, players usually do not brag about their accomplishments and stay very low key...at least those who got game. A player is just like any other guy; being with one doesn't mean that you will be protected. If you're with a player, and you're in a situation that calls for protection, more likely than not, the player will not be there to protect you since he's playing you anyway. Why would you go and protect someone/something you don't care about??
Cuz Game recognize Game. Guys can see through antoher guy's intentions. As long as you can make a girl feel, you are in the game. thats why guys shouldnt worry about pissing a girl off. Im not saying you should go out and start offending females, but dont be afraid to speak your mind even if you know she will disagree with you. If you think she is being childish, say it. If she did something you didnt approve of, say it. Dont agree with everything she does or say. The least you could do is try to sugar coat it. Just like in elementary school, the girl that you always tease and the girl who hits you when you tease her is the probably the girl that also likes you, but is unsure about how you feel. Play hitting is a form of flirting and even little kids know how to flirt. And yes bad boys or guys with those traits do provide a sense of protection. Here are the key attributes of the bad boy: Dominance, confidence,Independent, Assertiveness, and Masculine. Dont these traits resemble those of a protector type? We are not that different from animals. Watch the Animal channel and observe which animals gets all the females. the strong dominant one. the strongest lion with the most attractive mane. The biggest elephant with the large tusk. The list of alpha males can go on. My point is that bad boys and playas have these traits or people perceive that they have these traits and thats why girls are attracted to them.
i think many ppl don't bother to think how it all starts when the girl first dates teh "asshole" and i hate how so many guys complain about girls liking assholes and not the nice ones (themselves). i think it's unfair to judge and ask why ALL girls like assholes because it's not what it appears to be. the guys that these girls like are not assholes at first when they meet each other. NO ONE would act like an asshole or jerk during a first impression. the would act nice and friendly. the girl likes the NICE and FRIENDLY guy they see, NOT the asshole who appears later on. once the asshole appears, its hard for the girl to stop liking the guy because it's not easy to just lose feelings for someone, no matter what they do. you can never expect to like someone right away and you can never expect to not like that someone anymore either
Just why in the world would you offer this advice to the 'nice guys' out there? Why should they sit around and wait for somebody to make up their minds about who they love?? They have lives too!! And if the nice guy is only being nice to a girl because he has ulterior motives, then he ain't nice.
ya those assholes will make you feel like the QUENN OF IS ENTIRE LIFE" then after he gets whats he want (ahem.. sex of course) he dump you off then when you begging and crying to him he said "WTF!!! ITS 21TH CENTURY, BE A MORE MODERN MATURE GIRLS OK!!!????"
