I am ready to settle down and start a real family - have a few kids but my wife isn't ready. She wants to work more before settling down for motherhood without telling me some sort of plans. My parents are in their 80s and I am the only son; going on 30. I want them to be grandparent as much as I want to be a parent myself. In fact, even my in-laws want us to have kids soon. We live in a big house with only empty rooms now .. very lifeless. We have been married for sometimes now and our jobs/incomes are more than enough if not stable. How can I convince her to change? I don't want to force or push her if she's not ready but I can't have her weight work more important than family. She knew from the very beginning of our relationship that my first priority in life has always been FAMILY. If she's the workaholic type (she's not so back then); I have to seriously rethink our marriage and I told her that but she didn't respond. She's totally giving the silent treatment now. Do ya'll think I went to far with that line?? I think I did but we all say craps when we're angry or frustrated but frankly, if our life goals in terms of family are not on the same page, then it's best to move on. Correct??
ur lovely wife wasn't a workaholic before... but maybe she changed... if not maybe she's using this as an excuse not to have kids yet... having kids is a HUGE step... it's not just abt the income... she maybe worrying abt how to raise the child... or scared of the change in her body n many more reasons... (she might even think the reason u married her is to have kids... i know it sounds silly but women can b irrational) n the more pressure she get from everyone around her the more she'll rebel... maybe she needs more TLC from everyone and u need to "tum" her more... if not pin a few holes in the condom next time only joking... she's ur wife... a member of ur family... pls don't think abt moving on so easily...
yeh its pretty scary to have children. maybe show her that you will do stuff like house hold chores and be responsible for the kids if you already haven't. i think some women might be scared to have children because maybe they think their other half is just gonna sit on their bum and watch the tv while they are left to take care of kids, cook, clean and work.
You should probably try adopting a pet before you try kids ahaha. Plus if she's not ready then I wouldn't give her crap about it. After all, she will be doing *most* of the hard work anyway.
haha,reminds me exactly of the movie 'Marley and me'. You shouldn't have told her about reconsidering your marriage, she will think you married her just for having kids. Try to talk to her about it seriously
Yeah, having kids is not that easy. If your wife isn't ready, then you cannot force her. Instead, maybe you two can sit together and figuring out a plan about what you and she wants in the future and come up with an agreement. Planning is important before you do anything, including having kids. Maybe after a year or two years, she will change.
now we know how old you are lol.....anyways when you go out with your wife... exaggerate how fun and happy other couples are with kids and how babies are cute and stuff.... but still if she is a workaholic then having a baby won't be the perfect option because she wouldn't be a 100% mother and would focus on work more. Show her you can take care of the family financially and that she can work less. But then maybe she has a plan to have a baby in a couple of years after making all the money she can. OR do what ppl do on tv....switch birth control pills or not use condoms lol
if your wife is not ready then so not force her because kids are a pain in the ass sometimes. When you both are ready then do it.
This is about me .. "I" ... She's not talking to me now. Well, I am gonna wait and see what happen before making my next move. I personally don't wanna wait anymore cuz I am ready. Parenthood shouldn't be something that's "planned" even though I know a lot of people do so these days. Babies are gifts from above sorta speak and just not right to do that. I do plan for myself and family - get marry when I am fully ready - emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially; hence, I am not some idiots who's playing around without a job or education. What I am concern now is my wife's mentality about family. She was promoted to manager and has been working tirelessly since. Sometimes, when you get to management, your ego starts to get bigger and bigger and bigger .. kinda have no self control over ... start to neglect people especially family. I don't want her to quit but certainly do want her to pick work over family. Also, I feel having kids early is better for both of us cuz our parents can help out.
Having kids isn't about just you though. You should stop being selfish and be more considerate of your wife. Also if your parents are in their 80s, I doubt they will be able to handle watching newborn babies.
silent treatment is got to be the WORST thing to do in a marriage...!! she's wrong for not speaking to u... communicating is probably the most important thing between a couple... u need to talk to her calmly about what her feelings r... whether she's having any problems at work... if she isn't cooperating u still need to get all these info out of her somehow... n she needs to know how much u love her before how much u wanna have a baby i really hope u guys can work things out... it's very very hard to find someone u wanna spend the rest of ur life with... and there's no such thing as "i" in a marriage... it's always "us" and "we" good luck
well like the others said is a big step n saying something like "rethinkin ur marriage" just cuz shes not ready (yet) is kinda harsh.... i mean, when u do that ur pratically threatening her....sorta like, "kids or ur out".... its kinda like how i hate when women push guys into a marriage, which is like the most stupid thing to do lol.... what ur parents or in laws think shouldnt really matter.... what if shes gonna have kids with u while shes not ready yet: she regrets it n u guys end up divorcing n the kids are gonna be the one paying for that :( OR shes gonna be one of those irritated/cranky mums >_< just give it some time first...
lol man i think your threads should include a side note in the public...."this is about me" or "this is NOT about me."
Sorry but I'm going to have to side with your wife lady on this one. She's the one that's going to have to bust ass to make it happen so she definitely gets the last say on this.
Sorry, I can agree about planning our marriage and others but when it comes to parenthood, I'd like to leave that to the ABOVE ... I can't stand that type of people who say they'll have kids in two years and then when time comes, they're busting their asses to conceive as if it's a chore .. WTF .. NO. Not to mention that she's not talking to me or telling me what she has in mind. I agreed that my words were harsh but I was angry. If ya'll read most of my posts, you would probably read that I believe a family is not a family until you have kid/s of your own. Honestly, if she really thinks about having kids 5 to 10 years from now, I might just move on. I know it sounds silly to some of you and ya'll probably think on the woman side of things; keep in mind that parenthood is a two people thing. If ours family value is different; things will be difficult especially when one doesn't want to compromise in a relationship/marriage.
wow... that does sound harsh... i'd b soooooooo heart broken if my husband said that to me... i'd b thinking this guy only wants my eggs -cry2 by agreeing to sign that marriage paper u made ur wife a part of ur family... "for better or worse... in sickness or health... till death do we part..." these r the promises u gave each other... n i don't believe quitting is an option unless one of u is beating up the other till half dead... i know how much u want negiqboyz miniatures running around the house... try to find a way to make her want a miniature of her in the house too... maybe getting a pet is an option... try to listen to what she's saying... what she wants... if u really wanted to leave it to the ABOVE maybe u should've used contraception once u got married -whistle ... ur prolly a grandpa by now -wheel
