You'll Read This If You Were Meant To...

mystery · Apr 14, 2006

omg...I just read this thread on soompi and I thought it was the sweetest thing ever, so I wanted to share it with you guys. :(

Ok, I know this is crazy but I'm deciding to do this.

So here goes:

One of you on this site knows me. And I you.

You just dont know it's me under this sn. we've known each other for a long time now and I’ve just found out by chance that you’re part of this site, though u rarely go on.

Because of that, I feel safe writing this.

I’ve always hated talking about feelings and emotions since they make me uncomfortable but this is something that I feel is being forced out of me.

I’ve always been able to get and forget girls easily.. but with you…I cant explain it but…its like lately my mind isn’t willing to stop thinking about you (even while I’m asleep). and believe me, iv tried to forget about you countless times by sleeping, working, studying, going out with other girls etc. nothing is working. It really is like my mind has a mind of its own. We’ve gone through a lot together, you and me. And the whole time its like I was blind to something too close to my eyes. And now after what I found out last week; I feel like I’m about to lose something i didn’t even realize I cared about losing. You’ve made me restless these past few days and I’m not used to constantly having one girl’s face in my mind. That being said, I still do not know myself…that is.. my feelings for you. If you’re reading this right now, you know I’m not one to fall for any one girl. I don’t want to call this love because I don’t know what that is. It was a feeling I’ve always laughed away without ever caring for it. I guess its because I believed it would make me weak or something. haha its funny how I’m talking about sentimental crap like this right now. see what you’ve made me do?

Anyway, this is it, completely out of character for me and I’ve never done anything like this before. Since I do not know how you fit into my life, and you will be a million miles away from me soon… I’m going to leave this up to chance and decided to use this site to help me. Every now and then I will write about the insane expericances that we’ve shared and fully reveal my thoughts about them for the first time. if u somehow stumble upon my posts and recognize its me, you’ll know how I feel. Maybe by writing out these thoughts about you I will be able to find out how I feel as well. If you do recognize me, post your first words to me the first time we met as I’m sure you remember. I’ve made a promise to myself and a friend not to reveal who I am to you in real life nor make my thread obvious. We also decided that I will not post in my own thread except to update as to not cheat by bringing it back up. I know that the fact that you rarely come on soompi will make it hard but this is to give the possibility that you weren’t meant to find it a chance. If in fact you do find this…then…all I can say is that things between me and you will be different. For now I’ll keep my feelings for you to myself since thats what we’re comfortable with… and I guess we’ll see how this turns out.

How I First Saw You:

So this whole mess started when things were much simpler and I was a good little innocent boy who literally did not have a care about anything. Eight. Yea I loved that age even though I hated my third grade teacher. She was evil! She sent me to the principal's office practically everyday. I mean so what I glued a couple dimes to the wall or jumped up and down and made faces behind her back or bit Becky Smith’s arm. I was pretending I was a dinosaur! I mean come on; you can’t be a proper T-Rex without biting someone (especially the know-it-all teacher’s pet). Yea I got into a lot of trouble for that. Oh and Mrs. Greeny! If YOU are by any crazy chance reading this, IT WAS ME WHO WIPED BOOGERS ON YOUR PURSE!

Ok well; anyways…

I remember it was third grade morning and I was sitting in my seat being a good boy. Mrs. Greeny stepped out of the room so my friend Robert and I were trying to see who could flick spit balls farthest. I think it was my turn to flick when suddenly Mrs. Weenie (our name for her) opened the door. I looked up and walking into the room in front of her was you, the new kid. I would describe what you were wearing here but I don’t remember. I do remember you walking in looking at your feet and basically acting like a shy little person. Back then I liked girls but pretended to be grossed out by them when I’m around my friends. It was then when I noticed it. Something about your face….I remember turning to Robert and whispering what I saw to him. He looked at you and his expression was priceless. “YOU HAVE SNOT COMING OUT YOUR NOSE!” I yelled and we started laughing hysterically. 30 seconds later I was walking through the black top on the way to the principal’s office. In the end I got “detention.” Which basically meant I had to stay in class during recess. Recess came and I tried sneaking out the door to the playground with the other kids but Mrs. Weenie caught me and made me sit down in my seat…with my head down. I dragged my feet to my desk, sat down dramatically and slammed my head on my table. After a few seconds I got bored and look out the window. Then there you were. Not outside, but sitting there in the classroom by the window eating a sandwich with your back to me. I wondered why you weren’t outside playing. For a second I thought you got detention too. And since it was your first day, I was pretty impressed; it reminded me of my first day back. But since I didn’t see you go to the principal’s office, I knew this wasn’t the case. I wanted to talk to you but Mrs. Weenie was sitting at her desk on other side of the room. She was looking at papers or something so I decided to take a chance and call out to you. Since I didn’t know your name I whispered something like, “hey kid! Psst girl! You! Hey! Look over here!” and I kinda waved my arms around a bit. You either didn’t hear me or ignored me so I said, “hey it’s me, remember I told you had snot on your face.” Still you didn’t turn to me. So I grabbed some left over spit balls from the spit ball contest and started flicking them at you. At first you didn’t seem to notice but after about 15 spitballs landing in your hair you finally turned around and glared at me. I remember smiling at you really big and waving as you bared your teeth. And thus, our eyes made contact for the first time.

My thoughts now: Nothing profound, but just so you know, you made hilarious faces when you’re mad back then. kinda like this guy: -angry. As a matter of fact, you still do. Now you know why I take pictures of your angry face whenever I have a camera and you happen to be mad.
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Isn't that SWEET????! Man, I wonder who this lucky girl is...

AVANT · Apr 14, 2006

That lucky girl won't want him...
1) He only has the guts to profess that over the internet and not to her face, that should tell you something...
2) He motivation for feeling "safe" is that she will PROBABLY never read it or know that it was him (different sn)... but he sounds hopeful of it... wtf?
3) That post would never have existed if he's a confident guy.

Conclusion: Dude's a desperate wuss. If a guy wants to show his sweet side, he can, but this certainly wouldn't be the way to do it. Actions speak louder than words.

Way to ruin the post huh?

mystery · May 7, 2006

AVANT said:

That lucky girl won't want him...
1) He only has the guts to profess that over the internet and not to her face, that should tell you something...
2) He motivation for feeling "safe" is that she will PROBABLY never read it or know that it was him (different sn)... but he sounds hopeful of it... wtf?
3) That post would never have existed if he's a confident guy.

Conclusion: Dude's a desperate wuss. If a guy wants to show his sweet side, he can, but this certainly wouldn't be the way to do it. Actions speak louder than words.

Way to ruin the post huh?
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LOL...so he added to his post:

Time: About A Month Ago

It was going to be her first time flying alone. Her parents had departed early for Taiwan and agreed to let her stay an extra week with her aunt to spend more time in America with her friends. The last 7 days she was here I avoid her. Contrary to what a few people said about me in this thread, I was never the "shy" guy who lacked confidence. To be honest; I'm the get-what-I-want-break-everything-in-my-way kind of guy. A lot of people have been hurt by this and I'm not saying it is right, but it's just what I do. I say this truthfully and not to justify myself to you as this is the internet and I honestly don't care for your approval. Nothing personal. That being said, though the posters whom I was refering to wrongly judged my character, they were partially right, I admit, in saying that I was scared....for this particular situation; for this particular girl; the stupid girl I pinky promised to be enemies for life with when we were 8; the one who laughed and joked at me whenever she saw me with other girls when we were 18 but would secretly cry over it. I admit again that I am a coward. Not because she intimidates me or anything close to that notion, but because I'm too scared of losing control. I realize that now. I fell into a comfortable routine of never taking her seriously and ignorning myself whenever I felt feelings that breached the defintion of "just friends." This was an area in our relationship I was not ready to plunge into. It was as if I was on a cliff and if I took the leap, I knew I would never be able to fly back to to safe ground...back to.."the way it was." What if I got attatched to her? or actually started liking her? "loving" her? How do I know if I even want to "fall" for her? These questions would always arise in my mind when I close my eyes at night and my mind would dart in and out of consiousness; maybe it was because I was always dead tired when I went to bed, but it seemed the answers never came fast enough to hit me before I was shut out and submerged by the tide of sleep. Now, "Change" has cornered me so sharply against the edge of this cliff that I can almost feel the cold wind rushing beneath my toes and balls of my feet. It seems my heavy heart, given way to gravity, has fallen to my soles and forcing my legs to plead take off and all the while my head is desperately fighting this urge. At this overhang, I am the man dying of thirst, knowing that just beyond the edge, the water below can either quench me or or drown me. This is the best I can describe my feelings.
During the whole week, she kept calling me, but I wouldnt pick up. I needed time to think about things I don't like to think about. On the night she was to leave I was in my room, being a fool, playing violin, trying to forget about her but found myself continuously checking the clock. 10:30 pm. In 45 minutes, all possible choices would be made impossible and she would turn into just another girl I once knew. The impact of this thought hit me suddenly.
That's it. I snapped. I threw my violen down, grabbed my keys, rushed out the door, started my car, and speeded in the longest and most intense interval of my life all the way to LAX in the pouring rain. 11:20 pm. I parked in the no-parking zone, sprinted like crazy to the Taiwan Departure area and started looking for her. I ran to the woman in charge of letting people in the plane and asked if the plane left, she told me it has as I stood there drenched. I guess the miracle scenario of delayed flights at the perfect moment, at the exact last second only happens in movies huh. hahah. I went back outside barely feeling how cold it was and drove home. It really doesn't matter, I don't even care that much, I plan to get over her fast.
-------

It's past mid April now. This morning I went to check out this tree house she and I used to play in and I found a box hidden under this secret loose floorboard where we used to hide our snacks. In the box was a letter. Back then when we were younger we would make notes and puzzles in code for the other person to solve. And apparently this letter is also in code. I'm trying to find out what it says >.< . But this shouldnt take too long since I'm a genius at this stuff -cool. I'll post when I figure it out.
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HellGuard99 · May 7, 2006

touching... thats all i have to say..

turbogor · May 7, 2006

i duno.. to me it sounds make belief lol

Vend · May 7, 2006

touching... thats all i have to say..
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Did u actually read it? LOL

fcuk_it · May 7, 2006

he should have some courage to say something in person rather than hide behind a monitor.

You'll Read This If You Were Meant To...

mystery Well-Known Member

AVANT Well-Known Member

mystery Well-Known Member

HellGuard99 Well-Known Member

turbogor Well-Known Member

Vend Well-Known Member

fcuk_it Member