Hi, this is my first time writing a one shot...i hvent finished it yet, lol...but i had this idea one day and just wanted to try write sumfin...so um yeh..will update soon... What Stops me? It is not the first time in which i get told off because of my mistakes, yet Here i am, at work doing my job, doing my best, every mistake i have made, i have made up for it in one way or another.. and yet i get scolded, i freeze, my hands tighten into fists, my nails biting into my palm, hard enough to draw blood.... Everything i do is not good enough for you, no matter how i change.. the pressure and stress is starting to get to me, one by one, a seed of doubt is planted in my head, and one by one, dark thoughts begin to appear... **** As i cut the lemons needed to garnish fancy drinks, What stops me from 'accidently' making the knife slip so that its cool blade runs against my skin? a crimson line will appear, running down my arm, the sour juices creating a sting as it mixes togther, a faint coppery lemony smell in the air.. What stops me? Fear that a mark upon my skin may cost me the love of a dear one, Logic, it is not worth it... Honor, am i so selfish that i would tarnish my family name? **** **** As i wash and dry the glasses u need, u scorn me, i look down, afraid that my eyes will reveal my turbulent emotions, we've been through this too many times and i know now is not the right time to stand up for myself..i keep quiet and just focus on my work... **** One by one, i place the glasses on the shelves, my hand trembles, What stops me from tightening my grasp so that the glass will break? Shards of glass piercing and puncturing my skin.. the rush of adrenaline i feel makes me enjoy the sight, i stand still, allowing droplets of blood to fall endlessly...staining the porcelain floor, tainting its pure whiteness.. What stops me? It would cause some one trouble..for when they have to clean up Guilt and victorious as i would replace that smug look of yours to one of fear ****
You've got me captivated. i'm interested in what this will lead to but without any definite sentences the syntax itself is something that deters from the content. Maybe try make some definitive sentences with periods or exclamation marks or something? The constant appearances of (perhaps unnecessary) commas and ellipses (...) give me an impression of drifting thought. I don't know if that's the intended emotion you want or not but just telling ya. It's just that although some phrases are put together they seem to be conveying different ideas and that confused me. Good intro you got goin' though. excuse me if i sound harsh. i don't mean to be.
thanks for being the first..i'm not good at writing stuff..so its kinda like a drabble...lol but i do appreciate your advice and i'll try make it better and more not confusing...=)
Very reflective thoughts and emotions there. Hope this is only something you write about but not something you are experiencing.
to tell u da truth...i was actually feeling in a depressive mood..n i felt the need to write this out rather than doing something and then regretting it...
Awww.... i hope you feel better now. Just remember no matter what, there's always a better day ahead. -hug
no wonder its so expressive. usually such expression can only be portrayed when the person writing it has actually experienced it.
wow there phoenixgirl.... if these r really real emotions and thoughts that ur thinking of, think of urself and how stupid it would be it u went through with it. think of the ppl feeling sad for u and crying. if u want to rant on stuff, we're here to listen and try to make u feel better. just remember u can be better than this
i know its stupid thats why i didnt do it... to kill myself would be a selfish way out...its not worth it...not when there are so many beautiful things in the world still left for me to see,,, i must confess that although i dont feel suicidal no more...i sometimes feel like i'm depressed or sumfin...and its sometimes hard to smile again...
^well, you can always tell us about whatever you're goin' through. believe it or not, i've been through that too: thinking about suicide/depression. it takes time to get through it and most of all, for your endurance. so keep on thinking about the positive!
