A bit of a problem.

Discussion in 'Love and Relationships' started by yoitztrong, Apr 20, 2008.

  1. nah her bubble still struggling to survive it like it caught a second wind.... lol it cause she still is trying to be intimate with him in public which makes outsiders see them as a couple..... lol i had this connection with my ex where it was physical for me but for her it was emotional but then i sorted it out and she has accepted it and whenever we are in public its no more of that mess... but i hafta say this.... i never called her to come over for it she called.... :laugh:
     
  2. yoitztrong

    yoitztrong Member

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    I guess you guys are right. She just wants a rebound,
    you can't possibly move on this fast. She didn't come to
    school today, probably to hang out with that kid. I guess
    I do miss the attention. But lately, she's just doing all the
    wrong things. It's just recently, I mean, I love her (as a
    friend) and I should be happy for her. But the way she
    goes on about things really makes me mad. Yesterday,
    she left school super early to go home and get changed
    and pretty up to go to the movies with that kid. It's really
    not that much of a big deal to be doing all that. It's only been
    a week since they met and they're already hooking up. And
    there she was before talking about "how could u like someone
    you just met but not care for someone u've known for 4 years?"
    I feel like she's such a hypocrite. If she keeps this up, I don't know
    when I'm gonna blow and say really mean things. I hope
    things work themselves out soon, cus I can't stand this anymore.
     
  3. karoen

    karoen Well-Known Member

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    maybe she's just using that guy to make you jealous...thats pbly the whole point of it hmmm....girls sometimes do stupid stuff like that....
     
  4. lala_bel_tempo

    lala_bel_tempo Well-Known Member

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    why don't you just invite one of your girl friend's and hang out with her and see how you best friend girl would react?
     
  5. imsumwun

    imsumwun Member

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    Sorry but that is just really immature.

    yoitztrong if you two are friends tell her exactly how you feel. Being that you two are so close then you should be able to tell her the truth and be honest with her. Whether it is your feelings for her or her being a hypocrite. Let her know.
     
  6. bbes

    bbes Incredible

    i agree, i think she is using it to make u jealous. i don't think she is a hypocrite.
     
  7. i have to agree as well..... in a couple of weeks she will be over that guy, but then again there is a small chance it might make something out of it..
     
  8. yoitztrong

    yoitztrong Member

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    I'm fine with that I guess, it's just annoying
    when I'm with her and she keeps texting him
    or checkin her phone for new msg. I guess
    I should be happy for her, actually, I think I am.

    But I think she just needs someone there. I mean
    she was in a 2 year relationship with her ex and
    they were really close and then all of a sudden
    no one's there. So she looks to the next guy, me.
    And when I don't return the feelings, she goes
    to the next guy she thinks is cute and likes her.


    Lately she's been doing everything wrong. And I
    can't get why. But I sent her a message on facebook
    since I couldn't really say that kind of stuff in person
    about everything that's been bothering me. I guess,
    we're good again. Today during art, my teacher was
    cutting paper and I was listening to some music, trying
    to take a nap and she hugged me from behind which
    kinda made me jump. I don't know she's been kinda "suggestive"
    lately? Stand my ground and keep my space right.
     
  9. bbes

    bbes Incredible

    she hugged u, could she be showing her emotions of love towards u?
     
  10. yoitztrong

    yoitztrong Member

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    it appears so, it was in a really intimate way.
    then today, I walk into advisory and we usually
    sit by each other, so i walked by to sit behind her,
    but she locked one of my leg with both of her's
    and pull me onto her, and so i was sitting on top of her.
    and she starts biting my stomache? and complimented
    on how good i smell. it was just really wierd.

    I did already tell her that the physical stuff is over.
    and i'm just trying to treat her like a friend. =\ i dunno
    what she wants. she's alrdy going out with this kid
    and she hasn't told me anything yet. i dunno, it's just blah.
    she's really immature and and i'm not too sure on how
    long i can stick around.
     
  11. cr1stal

    cr1stal Active Member

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    i really dont get it.. lol i mean..if you don't like her.. then why did you let it happen.. i mean " the physical relation" that you were talking about...how could it happen if you dont like her..i dunno.. like you said its really mess up..i know theres no point to blame you about it but to me ..your the guy who let it happen so take your responsability for it..but on the other side..if youre forcing yourself to love her.. that could be worst too.. but then.. your a guy..if you didnt avoid the physical relation with her then you have to deal with it.. try it out..and always tell your self to be a perfect bf..even you dont know how to do it with someone you dont love..but what if you might really fall in love with her ?.. if things got worst.. im pretty sure she will be the one who make the first step of breaking but yea at least you tried.. you take your responsability for what youve done.. i know my english isnt that good and im sorry about it and i think you could manage to understand what im trying to say ..and yeah..thats it..
     
  12. vangirl86

    vangirl86 Well-Known Member

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    Just go away and end this crap with her once and for all. Till she matures, that's the day when you guys should hook up and talk about the past cause it'll be much easier to speak. She's playing two guys and you really shouldn't be there wasting your time. She's already screwing herself over, why do you want to get involved?
     
  13. cadeline

    cadeline Well-Known Member

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    I think she is very confused. She just recently broke up. There is a huge void of 2 years in her heart. She wants to fill that void. She is doing whatever it takes, may it be you or someone else...or even both it doesn't matter. She is very reckless and she doesn't care. She just doesn't want to feel the pain. I had that experience before but you can't do anything. Not you anyway.

    Your complicated relationship with her only adds to her pain really. Your talking to her only will make her resent you as it seems hypocritical (you can't sound righteous and stand on a moral high ground when your relationship with her is not exactly without fringe benefits) and feels like yet another rejection. Perhaps that why she is not sharing with you about her new relationship. I believe that it's killing her inside. She is judging herself. She knows what she is doing but she is very destructive at this point.

    The only sensible thing to do is to give her space and let her come to you for advise. Don't allow her to mess around with you. Just be a friend when she needs you. Until then she is not ready for anything.

    Sorry, if this is long. This is my two cents worth. Hope this helps.
     
  14. yoitztrong

    yoitztrong Member

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    thanks that makes some sense. she's alrdy going out with some guy
    after 2 weeks, so i guess i'm not that important to her . still, whenever i walk towards
    her, intentionally or not, she hugs me in an intimate way not friendshipish
    (if u no what i mean) and I've been pushing her away whenever she does that
    like, I won't hug back. then how we usually walk together, i break off a bit
    to go to my locker or something instead of both of us walking each other. It feels
    a lot better now, I mean, things are a bit awkward, but I'm getting my space and
    it's not so bad.
     
  15. yoitztrong

    yoitztrong Member

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    Think of it this way, whether or not we started a physical relationship
    wasn't going to affect how she feels for me. You fall for guys you
    didn't start a physical relationship with, so that doesn't mean anything right?
    But since we were best friends, I though it would've been ok. I didn't think it
    would lead to all this. I don't have the kind of feelings I have for certain people
    that I want to get into a relationship with, towards her, so I can never date her
    and it would never work out.

    As that, "feelings will grow" thing. It's not true for me, it's never been. It has to
    already be there when I first met the person or it's never there at all. People
    are automatically categorized in my mind, and they cant be moved. It'll never
    work, she's planned our future together basically. College together, apartment
    and I don't think I can handle it. So as hard as I try, I'm gonna break off slowly
    and just be a normal regular friend.
     
  16. vangirl86

    vangirl86 Well-Known Member

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    In my opinion, if she hugged you in Holister, I doubt they will want to hire you. It seems rather unprofessional, and Holister will think this work environment will not occupy intimate love or any kind of PDA.

    From all you're saying, you seem to be falling for her. You miss all the attention and you're jealous that she is dating someone else. Do you miss having a girlfriend? And want to experience back all the sparks in a love relationship? I don't think you love her like the "true love", but I believe you're just like her - want to be loved and cared for. If you do end up starting a relationship with her, I almost can say that it wont go far. Because #1, she is too immature when it comes to love, she doesn't have any idea what "love" is. If she had a tiny clue about love, she would've dealt with her breakup properly. She doesn't do that though, she mends her heart TEMPORARY by dating/playing other men. #2, if you decide to be with her, I can almost say that you will not like her afterwards, because you didn't like her from the start. Once you experience all the "lovely" feelings at the beginning of a relationship, you might choose to leave because she's not the girl for you and not your type either - I was in a relationship like that once for 1 year, it was a total waste of time. I forced myself to like someone who was beyond my type. I also forced myself to believe I actually do like him, only to find out at the end of the year that all the feelings suddenly disappear when he didn't do anything wrong. "True love" doesn't disappear out of no where for no exact reasons, so it wasn't love.

    It's your choice, if you really believe you're starting to have a teeny bit of feeling for her, and believe you should date her then go ahead. Get it over with. But in my opinion, you are really wasting time. You never know that you might finally meet "the one" when you were with her.
     
  17. kiwi3y

    kiwi3y Member

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    stop playing games with each other.

    just have a talk with her when it's just the two of you. let her know that you feel uncomfortable when she hugs you in public and flirt with you because you are just friends. i can't tell if she's dating the other guy to make you jealous, but if you are jealous and you want to be more than friends with her you have to let her know that.
     
  18. cadeline

    cadeline Well-Known Member

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    I just think she is emotionally unstable. She really doesn't know or understand what she wants. Yes, she is immature this way. It's not about you. I think you should also take time to access why you feel the way you feel (jealous, and unimportant). I personally feel that your physical involvement has somehow got in the way of your emotions with her as well. Physical intimacy is not something of a norm unless it's a job or your lifestyle. The boundary becomes difficult to divide when it's not clearly defined. Can you start over? I think its difficult and it takes time. Lots of time.

    I am great friends with almost all my ex-es but not from the beginning. I needed time out to put things into perspective (wise-up and grow up) AND only then can we start over as friends. Real friends with a past but with no intentions of rekindling and looking back. Just that we understand each other more.
     
  19. ProjectD

    ProjectD VIP yay :]

    i mean i would say be honest with her and stuff but you guys have a physical relationship so thats kind of bad
    so i recommend just go with your feelings and see what happens from there
     
  20. cottoncandybabe

    cottoncandybabe Well-Known Member

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    sorry to say but she seems a fool lol
    tbf i thinks its mainly do with her breakup
    looking for someone or something to fill the gap with kinda thing
    but i assume she knew it was just a physical thing going between u
    just dont see her for a bit,
    its either guna be back to normal or shes still guna wana be more
    which is when ur guna have to stop being friends really
    theres no real way around it
    i was really good friends with a guy before & we're never guna be the same again
    we can joke about him having wanted to be with me
    but u just cant go back to friends really