Am I too attached?

Discussion in 'Love and Relationships' started by babytenshi, Jun 6, 2007.

  1. bchanana

    bchanana Well-Known Member

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    that's lame of him to think that you're attached. you're just worried, and if you being attached to him is such a big deal, then he should let you know. just talk to him.
     
  2. fearless_fx

    fearless_fx Eugooglizer

    lol u try to contact your boyfriend 7-8 times a day? even octopusses aren't that clingy
     
  3. waikitfire

    waikitfire Well-Known Member

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    FX teach her the method of Fishing invent it into relationship u can save it!!!!

    p:s not appily to all.
     
  4. chickenutbread

    chickenutbread Well-Known Member

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    okay, seeing as how guys are only a "small country road", i will ask this: GUYS, IMAGINE YOURSELF IN THIS GIRL'S SHOES. what if your gf just kind of ignored you for basically the entire day? -shock dun dun dun. now what do you (guys) think?
     
  5. fearless_fx

    fearless_fx Eugooglizer

    i wouldnt think anything of it and prolly give it a week before i made an inquiry into what was goin on lol
     
  6. chickenutbread

    chickenutbread Well-Known Member

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    ^ahh. the mechanics of a guy's mind. okay, i'm done asking my question then seeing how far your concern goes, fearless. :p
     
  7. casshern

    casshern Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, just like how a woman cannot see it from a guy's POV.

    It doesn't matter what she thinks, what matters is what HE thinks. Yeah, she's checking up on him 7 times a day cause she cares about him, but to HIM, that's her caring too much. Unlike girls, most guys don't like it when girls keep on insisting to know every single detail of their life, even if they are your bf. They'll start to think you're annoying and will start avoiding you even more.

    And the reason why I said it's a bad idea to ask your friend is because

    1. It makes you seem even MORE clingy
    2. The friend may not be a trustworthy source

    Her clingyness could be what's making him distant.

    I would take it as a sign that she needs her space. I'd leave her alone, and let her talk to me whenever she feels like she's ready. Most guys aren't quick to jump to conclusions about this kind of stuff, anyway. Sometimes guys just do what they want, they want their personal space, and some time away from you. That's just how it is; you have your own life outside of your relationship with your bf, and so does he.

    And to counter your question, put yourself in the guy's position. How would you feel if your gf checked up on you 3+ times a day, because you forgot to tell her goodnight the other night?
     
  8. chickenutbread

    chickenutbread Well-Known Member

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    haha. sure, i'd be annoyed. but i don't think the OP really does "check" up on him that much. and even if she did "check" up on him 3 times the day her bf disappeared, that would be the first time she ever did that, out of concern, i'm sure.
     
  9. BabyRain

    BabyRain Doppelgänger of da E.Twin

    Dude, you have to relate your answer to the OP's situation in the first place.

    She didn't even say she's doing that every time. She did that because her guy went off after being away without telling her anything, just kinda 'shut her off' and then went silent for a day. Of course she'd be worried.
     
  10. casshern

    casshern Well-Known Member

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    I think we can all agree that the OP cares for her bf. But MOST guys will translate her concern as clingyness. So if she thinks she isn't being clingy, the only option she has is to break up with her bf, since they both obviously have different ideas of attachment. If she continues to act like this, she'll drive him off eventually, anyway.

    I related it to her situation when I answered chickenutbread's last 2 questions.
     
  11. true... but if they were still in the honeymoon period wouldn't he b just as clingy??

    besides... how hard is it to pick up the phone and say "hi... i'm busy... can't talk right now"??

    i remember the first time a guy told me i was too clingy... i saw him once a week... n we talk on the phone once a day... he used to complaint we live too far n don't get to c each other enough... but when one day he told me i was too clingy he was with someone else... -shrug
     
  12. wind2000

    wind2000 Self Schemata

    A "talk" with him definitely seems to be in place. @ OP, your bf do seem to be distancing himself from you. Is it the first time that something like this happened?
     
  13. dreyvii

    dreyvii Well-Known Member

    Hmm...I don't think you're attached. Probably concerned would be a better word to describe it. It's comprehensible that you're worried about him. But I don't think you should've asked your friend to pass him a msg. Why get someone to butt into your relationship? Why not go see him yourself? Is that friend of yours trustworthy enough? Maybe you should talk to him and see what's his take on the matter...
     
  14. smallrinilady

    smallrinilady Well-Known Member

    i think it's more like this
    everyone's got there different levels of tolerance
    but dont even use the word tolerance, but also level of need



    one of the guys i dated didn't like the fact that it seemed like i wasn't attached enough
    while another guy i dated thought i was too attached



    it's a personality thing, and you've got to find a good fit
    a level in which both of you are comfortable
    and/or
    a person who has the same level of tolerance/need
     
  15. gawain187

    gawain187 Well-Known Member

    Sometimes us men need a little breathing space. You should trust your partner more and don't question too much.
     
  16. SugaCutie0

    SugaCutie0 Well-Known Member

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    Hm I can understand how you'd feel worried.. eh, one out of two things is going on, in my opinion..

    1. He would like to have alil more space.. or 2. He's not sure of his feelings anymore and is drifting away from you.
    Do not believe your girlfriends off the bat only unless they are 100% trustworthy.. Some girls can be very envious and will try to start trouble for you under the guise that they are your "caring" and "concerned" friends, very two-faced, but it's true.. Even if this information came from a trusted friend, dont cast judgment until you talk to him about it. As brought out before, he could have sent you a text at least to let you know that he was okay, it shouldn't have taken your friend's intervention to motivate him to call/text you back, you as being his gf should be enough of a reason for him to do so. I would honestly relax and just observe from now on, not in a paranoid manner, but I'd just observe how he acts and what he says for a bit, and if you feel that your friend is not being 100% truthful, I would watch what I say about him around her too. If his distant behavior continues, I'd ask him if he would like some space, without mentioning that it was your friend that claimed that he had said that.
     
  17. philostrate

    philostrate Well-Known Member

    it's normal for a girl to ask her bf if everything's fine since he just went away suddenly..
     
  18. chickenutbread

    chickenutbread Well-Known Member

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    ^ditto. and to add on to that (as i was reading sugacutie's response) keep in mind that your friend could have added on something while asking your bf to call you back that would make him think that you're way too clingy?
     
  19. doesn't this sound sad to u... u mean his ur bf... ur meant to b one of his closest ppl round... n yet to contact him u need a 3rd party messenger to pass on the msg...
     
  20. SugaCutie0

    SugaCutie0 Well-Known Member

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    @babytenshi: I hope everything works out for you:) Give us an update of how things are going, if you like.