well with the.....news bit in a seperate box...i just thought it was something else and then kinda scrolled past it.......-emb and errr......with the ending....promise you wont laugh....i just assumed everyone dies and story was finished......didnt really think more to it......-smileb
okla since you want a critic lol...the suspense is there...the gory details are explained in depth because i really imagined how george amputated himself and how samantha was disemboweled...i watched a lot of insane torturing movies so i even imagine the mad laughter on janie's face lol... there are a few things that i need to clarify...the letter to polly is fishy...so the demon is still there because when mr creed slashed janie there was a brief moment of janie calling for her daddy...so the demon possessed kaelyn now? and what happen to mr creed? my guess was mr creed's gone insane...and why did the demon spare polly? somehow the ending is obscure and it's kinda hard to predict what could happen next... i mean there are only 3 survivors with polly locked up and mr creed gone mad...the devil's motive was revenge...and all the ones who deserved the medicine *lol* has been fed with... for me i find it hard to plan for the sequel with such a few loose ending...tough job u gonna have there Brain... ps:brown bear makes a great apple polisher lmao....kidding kidding brown bear -cool>.<
^Wah! Everyone died.. what you mean? As in a happy ending? You thought Kaelyn and Mr. Creed lived then? Lol you skipped the news too eh... aiyo.
well as in.......everyone dies...leaving polly.........as she ran out of the house.....and mr creed was alive......and the cliff hanger being.....whether kae stays alive or not...i dunno....solly lor.....
Haha, so you thought it was a happy ending with Kaelyn and Mr. Creed surviving??? (Wow what a blow to you then kekeke) So what do you think of the new ending? And I have quoted myself, in case you don't really get the ending. -sweat And philo, the demon is in kaelyn now, take a look at my explanation and tell me if you have any more doubts? -sweat And correction, the devil has never mentioned any motive. No revenge.
Kaelyn stirred, her eyelids fluttered; then she opened her eyes. Her lips curving upward, drawn into a smile, she said, “Daddy…” shit i missed the last 2 lines....i have been so careless for not noticing the keyword daddy...
Hehe yup... But actually, the BIGGEST telltale sign is I suppose, Kaelyn's message to Polly at the end? "I hope you have taken your medicine"... Hmm only the demon would speak like that, no? And Philo, the demon never mentioned anything about revenge, I believe the demon is not related to kaelyn's family at all... -evil
hey and why was it such a blow for me??? i htought it ended good there too wor......and you promised no laughing wor -angry..hmph! philo..you missed a buit out too eh hahaha
Hahaha, yeah... coz your uhm version and my version is totally different ma. You might think it's a bad ending now coz the 'evil' wins at the end of the day... Hehehe can't believe you missed out the NEWS and the epilogue! lol Philo ... at least she suspected the devil is in kaelyn now arh ma.. lol
well....your ending now seems much more complicated......i think mine was much more simpler........theres a tip for you.....not many people seemed to grasp your cliff hanger as it seems you had to explain it to a lot of people geh.......and the endings not that different jeh....
^Wah? Haih meh? I thought it is clear enough wor... Especially if you read about Kaelyn SMILING and calling Mr. Creed "Daddy" (usually a person wouldn't just wake up and straight away smile after a traumatic experience right?) and the news (Mr. Creed gone missing) AND Kaelyn's message at the end is very clear wor... (only the demon speaks like that "take your medicine")... -doh Sigh guess my ending sux
hoho neh neh i actually scanned through it rather than read it because i thought it's a summary of the whole story... and not revenge? wait a minute i must reread chapter 27 lol Janie cackled in glee, as she read his mind, “That’s right… Daddy. Your loving wife Sam lied to you… Your little Rose didn’t die of a weak heart. She died of childbirth. She died giving birth to me! The sin that you created… My poor Momma.” now i understand...i was confused because of the bold...okok now i get the picture lol
Ouch you people arh... Aiyo make me heartache! lol. Summore I purposely posted a pic there (of the asylum) .. The pic looks so nice.
awww........the ending didnt suck......it was just a lot more to it....than i thought i think........then how many people did you have to explain it too??...minus me becuase i missed it out -emb.... you scanned through it?? so you didnt read it fully?? or you half read it?? hahaha
Well taxloss did get it... actually.. but she got confused lol (maybe because she was sleepy) and I think MDD got it as well (he said so.. I dunno...) and a friend of mine (not a member here but he read it) got it as well. I think Wind said he got it as well.. He said "it's so clear" hahah I think Hiake should be able to get it too -^_^ She hasn't commented!
well then exactly....so many people got it..just a odd few didnt get it...dont worry about it.......okies....its a good story...dont let minor people or mebe stoopid people like me get you down okay -hug
Hey you are not stupid ok! And i am glad you spent ur precious time reading it even though you don't like this genre! Hehehe. Thankies for spending time to read it and comment too... -hug (but i suspect people like you would prefer an ending where the good guys win eh?)
awwww..........well at the end of the day...this is a story you should stand proud of! and like i said ive courseyy gotta support bbbbabby story....and not to mention this is like talk of the day...with everybody...putting the link to this story....so much PA coverage of it...cant not read it kekeke
you've got talent eh? is this your first story? the way you write is like you have a lot of experience...there's a plot...a twisted one..smooth lines in simple words and yet conveyed the message...4 thumbs up (including my toes lol) anticipating your sequel..
