Actually...being kept in the dark isn't all so bad. Sometimes it's better to not confess. Confessing will only cause pain. If you don't know, you'll forevermore live in ignorance and ignorance is bliss.
I hope you do realize that bliss is only an illusion that has no real affect on your well-being. If that didn't make any sense, here's an example. Just because you don't know that you're bleeding doesn't mean you're not bleeding. Some people may think that not finding out that they have an illness, like cancer, will allow them to die happy without worries, but the truth is, perhaps if they found out earlier, they may have been able to treat it and move on with life. This might lead to a longer life span and more time to spend with loved ones. Not to say that spending time with loved ones is something everyone desires, but I'm sure most of us would wish we had more time to do one thing or the other. Bliss doesn't really equal happiness.
but all this is assuming u'll find out eventually... n yes... finding out will b devastating... but wot if u don't find out?? if he doesn't tell u ur relationship would b perfect... if he does there'll b a prick in ur heart forever?? like if u have a perfectly happy family n one day u saw ur dad holding hands with another girl would u go n tell ur mum n let her know she's bleeding??
Tell me, the chances of you not finding out and the chances of you finding out... which is higher? If he's truly feeling guilty, can he not speak about it in his sleep? Can he not slip his tongue while he's drunk? Will he not tell his guy friends? What about the girl he cheated with? Even if she's reliable, she will probably tell somebody, and that somebody might tell somebody else, etc. Isolated social circles DO often, surprisingly connect. Sometimes, it's easy to avoid doing what's necessary by professing concern for other people's well-being or happiness. But pain is part of life and it's also part of relationships. It cannot be avoided, however dishonesty can be. I just think being honest is better than not. I mean, every relationship will have plenty of ups and downs, moments of pain and hardship ect. Would you want him to 'spare' you all of them? Apart from attempting to have him confess, I will tell her the truth, because I know she would want to know the truth. Even if I don't tell her, I know she will find out sooner or later. You can't live with somebody for 20+ years and not sense that they are keeping something from you.
To all the cheaters out there who don't believe your spouse deserves honesty, if you don't believe she/he is entitled to know that she/he is being or is going to be exposed to an unknown sexual history, if you don't think she/he has the right to truthful facts about whether to make the critical decisions in therr life (the most pressing in this situation being whether she/he ought to dump your sorry arse), then by all means, live with your deceit and compell them to do the same. But please disabuse yourself of the ridiculous notion that there is anything altruistic about your motivation to deceit: it is a purely self-serving impulse!!! You simply wish to avoid facing the consequences of your actions. As far as the people who think lying is good relationship advice, observe how many advocates state "if my partner were cheating on me I would prefer not to know." Huh, not very many. I guess that sentiment doesn't come quite as naturally. What about those cheating victims who feel like their partner's honesty with them was selfish and wish that they had been lied to and spared the pain? Not very many either. Would you HONESTLY wish you didn't know you were cheated on? Get spared all those painful emotions, maybe you'd still be together with the 'person of your dreams'. That sound right to you? Now all you "don't tell them" advocates, those of you who have boyfriends, girlfriends, partners, spouses, significant others - if you think your stance is defensible, I think you should have a little talk to let them know that while you haven't cheated on them, if you did, you feel that it would the most unselfish thing not to tell them, and that the terrible guilt you would feel would be your real punishment for your actions. See how that one flies: it seems only right, doesn't it, that they know your stance on this issue?
hmmm... that would really depend on how smart that guy is n how hard he's trying to cover up his tracks... if he truely feels guilty n doesn't sleep well at night n does what ever he can to cover up his tracks then i guess in a way that's his punishment if he's doesn't really feel guilty n does sloppy work on it then yes i'll find out eventually n end everything...
I really agree with this. I think that most of the ppl who choose to "suffer" from a guilty consious (Sp?) instead of confessing are just trying to lie to themselves. They're just afraid to confess so they make themselves feel better by saying that it's okay not to confess as long as they feel guilty inside.
even though the truth hurts but i think it's best i know the truth than being in the dark for the rest of my life...
^ agreed, that wouldnt be called love. its just a relationship full of lies. i'll break it off with that guy. but if you cant let go. then be like oh you either pick me or her. you do the decision if you wanna get back with him
You got a point but like I said before, I rather know the truth (speaking for myself, not anyone else)
