Question here is how old are you? If you are young you are naive, I don't blame you for it because we all been there before. Marriage is serious business, its much more serious than just simple boyfriend and girlfriend. People tend to mistaken lust with love and just take the plunge as soon as possible because they are so blinded and disillusioned that a lot of them end up regretting their decision. What I am trying to say is that 1 year and 3 months is nowhere near enough time for anyone to realistically come to the conclusion that this is the girl to marry. I honestly give 3 years minimum before I put a ring on that 'right' girl's finger. I also agree with Tony's post. I always live with a philosophy that you can never get mad at a woman for cheating on you. I always believe it's always you who is responsible, you are the one who started the relationship, and things like this happen because you must have lost your game, she isn't interested anymore. Let's not forget that everything in the relationship the responsibility of the man, because girls don't need to go out and pick guys, she chose you because she thought you were the right one at that time, so from there it's up to you to keep that interest up, if your game isn't tight, she'll leave your ass and you cannot label her a whore or whatever.
From what you have written. This is a storm in a tea cup. If you loved her you should let her go and trusted her. There is no perfection in a relationship and happiness comes to those who can turn a blind eye, forgive and forget. If your relationship is only to your own terms it will die. Why can't she do something without you knowing? Follow the ancient wisdom of the three monkeys http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_wise_monkeys , see no evil, hear no evil, say no evil. All is happy, if I were you just go round and make it up. It is a strength of character to show weakness for a change of heart.
What are you talking about? His fiance cheated on him. What are you saying about just turning a blind eye to it?
If you really know how to love someone then forgiveness and starting afresh is easy to do. The OP was confused in his written account. If one does not turn a blind eye how else can one avoid a broken relationship. A relationship last for decades with a lot of endurance and one has to turn a blind eye on many things else there would a lot of broken relationships on the way, including son and daughter, parents etc.. Again, read and think the enduring wisdom of the Three Monkeys. Of course if the cheating goes on and one has to assess again. But the fiance did promise not to do it again and people are allowed to make a few big mistakes.
if you really know how to love someone u wouldnt do the dirty with another person than ur loved one n then lie about it.... cheating is a huge mistake that a lotta people make but for a lotta people its also a good reason to call it quits... being able to trust your gf/bf is one of the most important things in a relationship imo.... being cheated on isnt something u can just forgive.... u make it sound so easy.... it wasnt just a quick kiss or whatever, she actually spent the night with another dude.... im sure there were a few moments where she couldve just walked away but she chose not to... so the way i see it, its a choice she made not just an innocent little mistake....
If I were you, I would say I forgive her and then CHEAT in front of her face and see how she likes it!
you must not have read the OP's reply...he said he checked her emails and found out that she has been doing him wrong for over a month...so how do you go on and forgive someone who's been messing around with another man for a month while you have been preparing for the wedding? I don't get it...
You are right I have missed the OP's additional facts. I do apologise for this. I have to say how bizarre that a fiance has started another relationship currently (without terminating the existing engagement) as it is not easy to get engaged in the first place unless it was an irrational decision. But as it was supported by the parents I can only speculate that a fundamental flaw/rift had developed in the relationship that was unknown before the engagement. As otherwise it is usual to assume that post engagement the natural course of event is to proceed to marriage without a triangular relationship! Cheating whilst engaged is unusual and leaving trails of e-mail with password compromised is even more unsual! I would not expect a girl in the process of cheating to leave an email trail unless it was intentional. I suspect that the OP has not disclosed all the facts and we would not expect him to in this public forum. Therefore I can only draw the conclusion that the cheater is not guilty until proven! But of course readers of this forum can readily advice and had done so!
oh, friend i feel so sad for you.......... I hope you will get well soon. But I think maybe you should talk to your girl friend about how you feel on this issue.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wendi_Deng_Murdoch Men simply never get used to the idea that there are predatory women in the world. My advice to the OP? Move on, she's his (ie. the other guy) problem now.
a year seems barely enough time to determine if the person is 'the one'.. I mean damn something musta been wrong with the relationship if she's just gonna go out, sleep with some dude, and then tell you, throwing away her chances of staying together..
Lol...Once a cheater always will be. it's something i learned in psych class at Yale.....wow that class is useful..... Thing is if you left her off, you'll always have no peace at mind wondering where she is off to. That'll make things worse for u. Don't blame yourself....people are who they are
to be honest once someone cheats on you there is really nothing stopping them from doing it again.... and at the back of your mind you will always be suspecting them and not trusting them... a relationship is based on trust... once you lose that trust you it will never be fully restored.. so the real question is do you trust her enough to give it another go?
Congrats dude, feel lucky you found out before you married that unfaithful slut. It would have been more painful if you did marry her, not only would you have had to pay for a divorce but also half of ALL your shit would have been stolen. You're going to feel like shit for a while but you'll look back soon enough and be happy this happened. Stay away from the booze and drugs.
Lol!! But yeah, feel your pain threadstarter. Its better to learn it now then 10 years down the marriage. By then you would lose more financially, mentally and emotionally.
Is she really predatory though? It sounds like they both got what they wanted from this relationship. Murdoch gets a hotter, younger wife and she gets access to billions of dollars. Also she sounds like she is very smart and quite the business woman...
Bro do you want to save the relationship? do you still care for her?. Even if she goes with other guys to eat and sleep, do you have a feeling she will come back to you at the end? sometimes relations ship and the girl is not always perfect, have you done it good for her? You can still fix it bro. do you still love her?
It's a good thing that you can find out before marrying that person. This is actually a sign and should take the opportunity to end it.
