How about a PA meet up in Montreal? Back to OP, don't dwell on the past relationship/friendship (been there & done that) cuz nothings gonna change. Just move forward, meet new people, and form new friendship. Sometimes, friendship/relationship also depends on fate. Just cuz you take initiative, doesn't mean others want to be your friend. But if you don't try, you will always be a loner. We all can be your friends here on this forum but that's about it. Even if there's a live meet-up, if you don't show up, it's still the same ... loner. If you did show up and talk yet don't communicate regularly, then the most is just acquaintances. ...friendship like all relationship, requires work. Just keep thing simple and step out to meet people. Lets the rest flow on its own. If y'all become friend then nice, if y'all become close friend, that's great, and if not anything, just acquaintances, then cool too. At least you don't have enemy. I just wanna let you know that sometimes somedays these acquaintances can be helpful to you .... might be friend, colleagues, bosses, or even relatives. Very strange sometimes ... an acquaintance I met back in college is now my cousin's wife.
I'm really introverted but its just that some people are really nice and try to befriend me..is it because they don't mind me being introverted? I try to talk as much as i can but kind of have a mind blank and don't know what to say.
Trust me, being introverted has nothing to do with the ability to make friends lol. People often mistaken introversion to be the lack of socializing skills, but in fact, that's not the case at all. Introversion and extroversion are concepts popularized by psychiatrist Carl Jung, to refer to the personality types. Though he does mention introversion to be shy and quiet, and extroversion to be talkative, the main idea regarding these two concepts is how an individual finds gratification in social circumstances. For example, introverts may find more gratification in quiet environments, whereas extroverts find gratification in environments with a lot of people. The term used is "energized". Introverts can still survive in a social environment, but require to be re-energized in quiet environments, like quiet reading, quiet tasks etc. The extrovert is energized in strong social environment, and finds boredom in quiet ones. But to say introverts are socially awkward is simply not true at all. So let's say you are in fact an introvert, and find comfort in quiet environments. When you are forced into a social circumstance, your ability to socialize (or lack of), has nothing to do with your introversion. You say your mind goes blank and don't know what to say. Imagine taking an exam that you have no knowledge of, your mind goes blank as well doesn't it? Or when you're nervous for an interview even though you know the material, your mind goes blank doesn't it? (That last one happened to me just this morning haha). It is simply a matter of practising socialization. I just hope that part is clear. Now how do you socialize? You mentioned that you try to talk as much as you can. Let me give you a secret: socializing has nothing to do with talking or saying anything. WHAT THE HELL? Yep. If you truly dissect the art of conversation, you will see that those who master the art of conversation are really masters of.. listening. And the ability to listen well, in theory, should be the strong point of introverts. They listen, they process it, and they provide their opinions that are RELEVANT to the conversation. Talking as much as you can while not respecting the topic of conversation is just as bad, if not worse, than not talking at all and not knowing what to talk about. The key is listening, and respecting the topic of conversation. Notice that the Queen of England Elizabeth II was once dubbed as the master of conversing. She knows people love talking about themselves. People she talks to keep talking and talking, and she encourages them to talk by asking relevant questions. This shows interest in the talker, and attention to the other person is a component in conversation. However you can't just keep asking questions, that'll be interviewing and interrogation. Again, the key is to listen, and provide your RELEVANT input at the right time to make the conversation flow. In the end, conversation is like a river. If you talk as much as you can, and the lake is emptied, what else is there to talk about? The key is to listen, and both of you (and the other person) make the current of the river flow by asking relevant questions and inputting relevant opinions. That will make the river of conversation flow indefinitely. This is something that's practised, and is something that many introverts have mastered. Lack of social skills is therefore unrelated and not inherent to introversion at all. Now go out there, learn to listen, learn to identify the topic of conversation, learn to not give out all of your eggs at once, and just input RELEVANT information to the conversation. If the conversation dies, dig into your memory regarding potential topics of discussion, and ask about that. Remember, EVERYONE has opinions on ANYTHING, even you and even the person you're talking to. Use it to your advantage.
I find it strange because i'm really shy and quiet but still there are people that always try to talk to me. People who come up and talk to me are usually really outgoing but i'm soo quiet. Like the girl from my highschool she always say hi to me first and talk to me even though sometimes i don't talk that much. Does that mean that they don't mind me being quiet??
Jesus Christ haven't you read the posts above? You've accepted the fact that you're shy and quiet, and aren't doing anything to make your situation any better. Stop reading into things, maybe they don't mind you being quiet, maybe they do mind you being quiet. It really doesn't matter what they think. They try and talk to you because they want to be friends with you. The way you're responding is "zomg they want to be friends with me! I'm worthy of being their friend!" That shit is deterring to people. You need to stop worrying about what others think of you, or how much you're of worth to them and focus on fixing your attitude so that you're more socially competent. Right now you're doing nothing to improve yourself. You're still thinking you're inferior to others, and if you continue that, that's how you'll be treated. People don't like those who are pathetic. So do yourself a favour, don't give a shit about what others think, stop trying to analyse every small social detail, do what you want to in order to make yourself happy and feel great. You need to feel great and be great in order for people to like you. This is my last post here.
Hey CuTeBuBleBeAr, I'm kind of like you. I'm not really good at expressing myself. That's why I try to make friends in class where I talk about course material which I'm familiar with. Post #24 is quite helpful.
