@MDD: In fact, I really think that she's oppressed in some ways by the traditional family value. So I guess that analogy is indeed true if taken loosely.
Haha, you know what, hiake? I finally feel I'm meeting someone really intellectual. I've been reading some of your posts in this forum, and I find you very knowledgable and interesting.
Wahahah...well, if u insist on being modest. Nah...I was judging on first impressions. The way you express your opinions and maturity of thoughts
LOL, seekritly I am a 6 years old. Serious Anyways, I was about to welcome you to PA when I suddenly realize that you've been a member WAY longer than I did Stupid me. Anyways, great to see you active -^_^
i agree with brown_bear: talk to them. if that doesn't work, i think you've done all you can and all that's left is to be what they aren't; to be the kind of person you want to be that isn't a reflection of your sister(s). it's good that you realize the flaws in your own character and that can help you better yourself. and personally, i have quite a big gap between my sibling and i. it's not as big as yours but still big. we don't talk. on average, i probably say 10 phrases to my sibling in a day "can you pick me up?" "it's dinner" " answer the phone!" but then again, i grew up that way. chinese families just aren't into knowing personal details behind your life (not my family anyways). so what do i do? i "adopt" other siblings at school or people i've met that i'm close to but may be a few years older/younger than me. i'm comfortable with them and have that bond.
hiake: Haha...Just happen to have some time to start posting...You'll probably see me do a disappearing act after some time! Thanks for the welcome tho, nice meeting all of you! chickenutbread: That's so true, i mean the part about adopting other siblings at school. Which is why I grouse about why friends can be so much closer at heart than those related by blood. Oh well, it's probably not that important is it? Just trying to shrug off those negative feelings...
I have a younger brother that is 10 years younger, it's hard for us to communicate, I mean he likes to go out with me and he listens to me, but he's also afraid to do stuff wrong while he's with me, he's scare of me. I don't quite know how to communicate with him that well.. but I do love him with all my heart. I'm sure your sisters love you, it's just hard for them to show it because you're so much younger, the gap is just there no matter what. maybe try talking to them more, and just hang out more, maybe it'll help.
Yeah, I guess it's the asian thing...don't show affections openly. Sigh...but I don't understand, at least they were educated in the west, that should bring some influence. A few kind words won't kill them. There's just no communicating with them, cos it almost always ends up in them finding fault with me. The only time when it doesn't end up in an argument is when I keep quiet and swallow everything they say.
^exactly! i feel like i'm somewhat oppressed at family gatherings, etc because everyone is older than me (i'm basically the youngest, even with extended family) and i'm super quiet.
Hmmm...I'm not really quiet with my extended family. Just that I don't voice out how I feel to them cos it's like airing your dirty linen in public, which I don't like, cos that'd hurt my parents. I'm the youngest too!
tell them to go to hell HA HA HA i did that once to a family member My uncle is one of those stupid I"M SUPER NEGATIVE people and started telling me i dind't know anything at a HUGE family dinner (this was when i was job hunting for a real career job right after I just graduated) and kept telling how cruel the world is and how I dont know anything cause i'm just a kid and that I'm stupid cause of blah blah blah to the point he had my dad and another uncle (who I admire) gaining up on me cause "i'm just a kid" that the next day when he started on his rant about how bad the world is i said "if the world is so horrible, why dont we all just die and get it over with" (he's also scared of dying) but from then on i've never heard him say more than 5 words to me i know that sounds bad, but good riddens, I'm actually quite happy to not have to listen to him talk anymore unfortunatly he's also a bitter man so although he doesn't talk to me apparently he's been putting me down to a lot to people i love his daughter and my aunt, but my aunt can't really talk to me anymore either Lost relations with an Uncle I Hate, and a Aunt I love my cousin wants to visit me this summer, but is having a hard time getting her dad to agree now
well not everyone gets to be close with their sibs even though its how you think they are still scolding you and telling you off mainly because they have some care left and they probably have alot of problems themselves like you said they have their own lifes to handle with kids and everything its alot harder for them too. As for you parents well they think you are digging into their income well its mainly because they want you to not spend so much or get a part time job when you can its the least you can do right. Who doesnt know the parents will always take care of the youngest one but then thats not the situation they have their own bills and stuff to pay too in a sense. Or they can just be jealous of all the attention you get Big sibs also has that too
@Smallrinilady: Haha...don't have the guts to stand up to my relatives that way. Sigh...I guess it's an Asian thing again..respect your elders. It's not really that, I just don't want to give people a chance to say that my parents brought me up to be rude. @nyckeion: My parents don't think I'm digging into their income...they feel happy to provide for me. It's my sisters who think so...
ahhh ic ic so in another sense its just how they think then let them think all they want everyone will have a different opinion since they arent around to see if you have been saving money for them.... but as long as you know you are not going overboard then its okay
Haha...I know I DEFINITELY have not been saving money for them, but yeah, I don't think I'm overboard either. They're just giving me what every other parent would give their children in this age. Problem is, they couldn't afford it for my sisters before, so in a way, my sisters don't think I deserve this kind of treatment from my parents, because they had to work their asses off for something they want, while I get much more compared to them
i would never do that in a million years but just this one uncle i have ZERO respect for him so . . .
exactly you're sisters think its unfair so they give you a cold shoulder treatment because why did they have to do so much in order for them to have anything yet you can easily obtain it
Hmmm...yeah, but is it so hard to understand that times have changed? THis is the 21st century, and we're no longer living in near-poverty conditions now...shouldn't they be happy instead? And they're always saying that I don't plan for my future. Things like what's the next step in my studies, etc. Heck, I'm lucky to even get through my degree...can't I think of things one at a time? I'm not even sure what I want to specialise in, so let me work and I'll eventually find something I like...stop bugging me!! sigh...
yeah its like cos you had it better then your sis's they have to monitor everything you do and like try to watch you fail?! it really pisses me off. Its like I already have a mum leave me alllllooooooonnnnnneeeee but if you say summit its like "oh you're stil young you don't understand you're just siw hay!!!!!!" sorry guys dreyvii just reminded me of my sis's. ok its off my chest now just hang on in there dreyvii!!! ngor ji chi ley ahhhhh
