You are both very young, We did not advance to a mature stage till we were nearly 30 but then again from start to finish it was concluded in two months with about 10 dates! However it is usual for one or more sides to be hesitant and to take much longer. What are more important also are the other practicalities of life: career, qualification and finance. The key thing is to keep the relationship going, time and chemistry will then work their magic if both of you wish to be together... sometimes you cannot hurry love!
ha.. yea.. wait till youre 30.. and he's still in his 20s... I'm sure he'll stick around.. -rolleyes.
i think he's depressed i haven't heard him laugh in a long time, unless we're watching tv he doesn't talk to me about anything fun or interesting anymore, ok quotes jokes with this one friend that he's not that close with when i talk to him on the phone, it's not much happyness i mean we might talk about what is happening, but i never hear an ounce of enthuisam he has been talking alot about the things he hates he never talks about school anymore, which he use to tell me his daily schedule every day and he keeps talking about how nothing is like HK (he misses it alot) any advice?
You need to ask him why he is depressed. What are the positives/priorities in life for him now? Finding out the root cause is important. You have explained some symptoms. E.g. What does he miss most in HK? Is he doing badly at school now as bad results at school can be depressing (note that this may not be the root cause since loss of focus may be caused by distraction by other root causes)? Apply this test: does he feel better when you are around or on the telephone? If not, then a period of absence as I suggested before may be a way of finding out the truth of a well known expression: absence makes the heart fonder. Hope this helps!
If you really like a girl, would you care what your friends think? And if you are a girl, would you want to be with someone that is embarassed to be seen with you? And if you are truly a friend, would you laugh at your friend for having an older gf? my answer: HELL NO, HELL NO, HELL NO!
Well would you be a friend, if you didn't listen to your friend... If you did know the person was embarrassed to be with you, would you still try and go out with him? It you are truly a friend, would you let your friend date an ugly girl? Do friends let friends drink and drive...? my answer: Hell No.... Hell No.... Oh! Hell No.... Not really..
i've tried talking to him about it he didn't really admit it he has this problem of not talking about his feelings (when unhappy) this isn't just to me, it's to his friends and to his family too supprisily i've seen several cases where this has happened where people were to embarrased to bring out there gf because they weren't christian, or they weren't chinese or something else but if' your asking about my case it's more an approval thing i think, and obviously we know he doesn't approve . . .
UPDATE i think i'm screwed we have been going at this for a long time we were so close but in the past two weeks he just started drifting away from me especially after the fight i had with his brother he's kinda just given up if he needs to side with someone, he will side with his brother, i mean he's living under his brother's roof and everything he needs to keep his brother happy and what he had still wasn't quite secure this makes me sad . . . . very sad . . . but i guess i have nothing left I can do i know a lot of you think he's really stupid for sideing with his brother instead of the girl he supposely likes, but as i had said (i know he likes me, but i dont know if he likes me enough . . . )
tell him you'll take him away from it all and have in move in with you... -lol the fact that he has already choice his brother and don't even bother puttin' up a fight, shows what space you hold in his heart... damn i didn't want to use "space.." but I seriously can't think straight being late and I'm gettin hella sick.. -cry2
move in with me ha ha ha i wish he's still a younging and doesn't believe a couple should move into together until they've dated for several years first
UPDATE ha ha ha oh my goodness, this is going round and round in circles to explain, the guy (that I like) he tends to go into this shut down mode when he is depressed, he wont talk about anything, stays rather silent (and he's a talker) i know one key thing to a relationship is communication and he does that better with me than others although he wont open up to me when he is having problems, he ends up telling me about them later, after everything is done which is more than he tells anyone else so he is back to normal, back to talking with me alot we hung out with a bunch of friends yesterday it was weird, at first, although they had all left a seat next to him for me (cause i was late) he barely said a word to me all throughout lunch but after that, hanging out for the rest of the day and he kept teasing me, and making faces at me, and trying to make me lose at games like the board game operation and when playing with the Wii. basically childish, but effective ways of getting me to pay attention to him but when his brother called and asked him where he was and who he was with, i noticed that he left out my name on that list of people he was with he also left early, even though i know he wanted to stay longer, because his brother had already cooked dinner for him (even though he told his brother that he may not be having dinner with them) later in the evening when me and the rest of the friends were just sitting around chatting the question came up "Is (guy I like) scared of his older brother" ~sigh~ it seems that it's so obvious to everyone and the sad thing is, everyone understands why he is scared of him (and we are all good friends with the brother too, in fact the others are all even closer friends with the brother too, but I believe half of them are also getting the silent treatment from the brother too)
This guy might be an adult...but seriously he sounds like a kid. He definately sounds like someone who's afraid of his older brother....more so what his brother thinks of him is very important to him. If he keeps on heading towards life like that, he'll always be in someone's shadow. He might look like a man...but seriously he's a boy. It's the 21th century hun. It's not uncommon that the girl makes the first move. All these "games" are killing both of you inside. Just because you're older than him, does it make it wrong for two people to love one another? I think the guy cares too much what others think of him. You need to make him understand you position clearly....and ask him to make his judgment with his heart and not with his head. You guys need to stop "playing games"... and just come out clean to all your friends. Is there something wrong with love? Heck just because you're friends with his brother doesn't mean u can't date the guy. At the rate you're going small, u're going to have trouble sleeping. It's not even worth it. You can't waste time. It's not something u can get back. The guy has proven his trust by his actions and obviously afraid to make a move b/c of the consequences. He's not a man but a boy....however u can turn him into a man. In life, u gotta take risks at times. This is a time to do it. Quit running from the issue and face the issue together with him. If you can't even do that....there's no way you'd be intact as a couple in the future. Let this be your first test.
This guy might be an adult...but seriously he sounds like a kid. He definately sounds like someone who's afraid of his older brother....more so what his brother thinks of him is very important to him. If he keeps on heading towards life like that, he'll always be in someone's shadow. He might look like a man...but seriously he's a boy. It's the 21th century hun. It's not uncommon that the girl makes the first move. All these "games" are killing both of you inside. Just because you're older than him, does it make it wrong for two people to love one another? I think the guy cares too much what others think of him. You need to make him understand you position clearly....and ask him to make his judgment with his heart and not with his head. You guys need to stop "playing games"... and just come out clean to all your friends. Is there something wrong with love? Heck just because you're friends with his brother doesn't mean u can't date the guy. At the rate you're going small, u're going to have trouble sleeping. It's not even worth it. You can't waste time. It's not something u can get back. The guy has proven his trust by his actions and obviously afraid to make a move b/c of the consequences. He's not a man but a boy....however u can turn him into a man. In life, u gotta take risks at times. This is a time to do it. Quit running from the issue and face the issue together with him. If you can't even do that....there's no way you'd be intact as a couple in the future. Let this be your first test.
This guy might be an adult...but seriously he sounds like a kid. He definately sounds like someone who's afraid of his older brother....more so what his brother thinks of him is very important to him. If he keeps on heading towards life like that, he'll always be in someone's shadow. He might look like a man...but seriously he's a boy. It's the 21th century hun. It's not uncommon that the girl makes the first move. All these "games" are killing both of you inside. Just because you're older than him, does it make it wrong for two people to love one another? I think the guy cares too much what others think of him. You need to make him understand you position clearly....and ask him to make his judgment with his heart and not with his head. You guys need to stop "playing games"... and just come out clean to all your friends. Is there something wrong with love? Heck just because you're friends with his brother doesn't mean u can't date the guy. At the rate you're going small, u're going to have trouble sleeping. It's not even worth it. You can't waste time. It's not something u can get back. The guy has proven his trust by his actions and obviously afraid to make a move b/c of the consequences. He's not a man but a boy....however u can turn him into a man. In life, u gotta take risks at times. This is a time to do it. Quit running from the issue and face the issue together with him. If you can't even do that....there's no way you'd be intact as a couple in the future. Let this be your first test.
