well i guess i took it too far with Mathis oh well he was never ment to last long anyway.lol didn't mean to make ppl think another bad ass showed up. theres not a lot of guys as good as me LOL J/K but maybe i'll add some bad ass's later if i can think of how i should do it as for the lemons and stuff you know i had to talk to you some how baby but hope to get more replys to this chapter:( oh well be cool
I agree with Brain about the best line in chapter 6! lol But was was the sickness Cortez had and that Valerie somehow knows how to cure it?
lonlitice it's a sickness were ppl can't think right and they think everything is worthless,they get high fever and go insain kinda like being super duper deprest.lol and Valerie knew about it because her mom was a healer. but oh course i just made all this up after reading your reply.lol so who knows maybe i'll add it in the story some how, glad you like the new chapter be cool
well chapter 7 is up now, it might be awile before i write chapter 8 but i will do it i just the its going to be a hard chapter for me.lol plus i want to finsh the Goddess babyrain story soon it won't be too long then i'll get back to this one. hope everyone likes it looking foward to reading your coments thanks for reading
lol, kinda unexpected sad ending for Valerie! -lol I knew she wouldn't survive but hadn't expected her to die so soon and in an unpleasant way! And I had totally forgotten about the priest and the other mysterious figure from chapter 1! -ohmy One point of critic: cut your story in smalller chapters! That way it will be easier to read and you have enough material to update it regulary Keep up the good work!
well yeah valerie had to die it was just part of the story but she'll show up again as you see in the first chapter. and talking about the first chapter it takes place 2000 years after most of the story so cortez is really telling the priest what happen and after awile it'll get back to our time. but the man who is helping cortez isn't the priest from chapter 1 just to let you know-sweat there a few hints thro out the story to who it is tho but in the next chapter it'll tell you and you'll know and also see why i want to becareful what i write-sweat but once past that chapter it'll be a littler easyer ok i'll try to cut my chapters down-blush i get a stoping point in my head and keep writing until then.lol but i'll cut them shorter from now on be cool
