we have a friend that understands us really well. i don't no if she talks to her but i do. shes been there for me in situations like this. i don't want her to get involved cause its my problem. all i want from her is advice from her.
hmmmm....well, here i'm talking about u talking to her about the relationship...not just day to day stuff.....here's the thing, girls WILL overanalyze EVERYTHING. so let's just say hypothetically, u say to her, u need time alone cause u need to get shit done. and that is all u mean by it. u have stuff u gotta do and that's it. well, she could all of a sudden think that u are deliberately pushing her away and doesn't want to be with her. or worst yet, there's someone else. keep in mind, i'm saying this hypothetically. so now, she thinks that, so she doesn't wanna show that she cares too much cause well, who wants to be the weaker one in the relationship right? aaaaahhhhhhh...relationship crap..... okay, without getting into specific. but from personal experience...my bf sat me down and told me straight to figure out what i want and don't want. he was gonna move away and start his career and told me that he didnt want to deal with questions between us if i wasn't serious about the relationship. maybe this is something u need to do?
yea thanks for the advice lee lee. i think i will sit her down and tell her how it is cause now to think of it i do get the feeling that i was pushing her away. i was kinda avoiding her when i wasn't there. i just hope that she doesn't make any bullshit and saying no no no its me blah blah blah
Well jst thinking that maybe your gf would tell her the real situation? and maybe u can find out what that situation is?
i don't think my girl likes to tell other things..... but i hope that this friend might no whats going on. @ lee lee i was planning to sit her down and talk to her but i couldn't figure out what to say
yea i think but thats y i need to sit her down and talk to her. tell her things gotta change and hopefully she'll accept that
haha...i don't think there's a specific way to go about it....but be sure to talk about the things u brought up on this thread cause they seem to be the root of the situation here. just tell her how u feel. like how u have this inkling that she's holding back in the relationship and that u feel like ur in it alone. and u wanna know what it is that is stopping this relationship from moving forward... something like that... maybe she is needy, but he likes her. every person has their fault. we all have to deal with those faults if we like that person enuf. also, there is always two sides to the story. we don't know this story from her point of view.
True... but if being with her becomes just routine then the feelings bound to be lost? wong i mean do you feel like you HAVE to call her evrytime ur on ur break? like isit something u feel compelled to do and not just simply something you want to do? because I think routine kills relationships aye.. but i dunno since you got work and shes got school itd be really hard for you to just spend time with her whenever... =S
i don't feel that talking to her is a routine..... when i was working day shifts during holiday season we sould still see eachother and talk on the phone when i;m at work. as of rite now i have a mixture of day shifts and nights. sometimes i would work close to home and sumtimes i would work far away. out of city or even out of state. i want to talk to her cause it makes my day so much better.
Wong from reading your post it seems you really like this girl that you are with and you are in the state of self loathing, you feel as if you are not good enough for her and that you are holding her back from something better and a lot of people go through this and have no realization that it is happening... you said you would barely talk to her and you even believed you are pushing her away on purpose, but at the same time you want to grab her back and hold onto her its an awkward feeling but it is quite normal.... honestly telling her how you feel could help but the healing process could be a lot slower if you limit it to just that, what you need to do is rekindle the relationship with something spontaneously romantic, degsinate a day just for her, (and make it ASAP), take the day or days off and just go out together, remind her through actions how much you mean to her. If you feel so strongly for this person and wish to continue with her then you should know exactly what will make her smile.
oh no... i'm sorry to hear that wongie :( i thought u guys were still fine during Valentine's day... gosh... do u know if either of u had more than 3 past relationships?? usually the more broken relationships u've had the shorter the sweet sweet honeymoon period u'll have in ur new ones... distance is meant to make the hearts grow fonder (well... if the distance isn't too far)... n sometimes it's not the quantity of time u spend with her... it's the quality... does ur short conversation have quality?? if i was in love with a guy but we only c once a week n speak for 10-20min on the phone daily i'd still b happy... just as long as he makes me feel loved n wanted... i really hope things will work out for u guys... u guys seemed so happy... i still remember u got her a wii (or is it ps3) for her bday... -down ps... do u know if any other guys r interested in her??
its hard to spend time with her a lot. i think the only day where we can be together for the whole day is on sunday's. i work monday thru thursdays and sumtimes friday. i have a saturday job that i just go in and look after the store for a friend. she works and goes to school. its hard for me to take days off just like that cause i get my schedule for corporate. i get them like usually one month in advance so taking days off is hard when a schedule for me is out already. i have sumthing in mind to take her today that will clear her mind and make her happy at the same time..... @ dawn: i don't get what the 3 relationship thingy is. we've had more that 3 relationships b4. we never got hurt from them also. i don't think shes interested in another guy.
When you call her, do you make it amply clear that you miss her and buy her little gifts when you return from out of state? don't pamper her, but dote occassionally and make the effort to reserve time for her (such as lining up a day off for a getaway). -blush2 I am sure you can claim a day's leave when she has holidays/weekends free just so you guys can spend time together. At that point, you should tell her you feel that you are neglecting her and does she feel the same way? IF not, then everything is fine. IF so, then probably use that day to have a deep and meaningful about what she wants and what you can do (taking humane/financial reasons into consideration). Even if you can't do what she wants, your relationship should have grown a little better/healthier out of the talk as the two of you start to work on the problem..! I have worked on-call and also find it difficult to tee up quality time - but you obvi\ously need to work in order to survive and this will only go more difficult when she gets out of uni and starts to work herself. Will the both of you be in the same industry? that will be even harder if the both of you start to travel everywhere and lose common topics of discussion if you work in different areas (altho this is getting too far ahead I suppose ...)
basically for women it only takes 3 relationships for very serious confusion to their emotions even when they say they didn't get hurt... n after that each time they start a new relationship the "feel" will last shorter n shorter... but some ppl can still b comfortable in a relationship that has no "feeling"...
what is this the same girl who you were trying so hard to get with? and she left her boyfriend for you? hahah.. what'd you expect was gonna happen??
