I'm pretty sure the thing that killed it was the asking her out part. I made it pretty obvious and I guess it wasn't the right time yet. I'm just alittle puzzled as to why she would avoid me now but not the week after reading week when we came back to school.
lol and there you have it.. didn't read up the other parts.. but seems like she don't even wanna be friends anymore.. so... A. Try your best n put a smile on the girl in hopes you'll at least be in good terms with her... B. Don't do nothing... let things fizzle into nothing...
Yeah.. don't fucking listen to the idiots here who gives advice like.. "show her that you like her.. don't hide it... don't try to be MERELY friends with her.. you're making a mistake.. if you like her.. tell her in person.. etc. etc." -- it's all bullshit. You can't really get "true" advice here -- you're the only one who gets the whole picture of what's happening. Follow and act where your mind tells you.. simply, go with the flow.
^ bullshit eh? the only reason why i give those advices is because i know they work. they work on me, so perhaps maybe theyll work on him. if you say advices we give is bullshit, so what about the "simply, go with the flow"? thats pretty much bullshit too, given that if he doesnt do anything, the flow is gonna lead him nowhere.
You know they work because they worked ON YOU? He has said that his "early encounter" in asking her out has screwed him over in getting a chance at dating her, it's why I called bullshit. I can also say from experience, that I honestly never made the "quick approach" in letting the partner know ahead of time that I'm trying to make a move. My stance is.. make the move whenever you feel that the both of you have "chemistry," where you really do have a liking for her, you've spent the time with her, you're now comfortable and confident enough to ask her out (and this has worked for me also), not just a sudden "hey, I want to let you know, I'm hitting on you" sort of approach. I too, believe that making such an early move, in which you don't feel comfortable in making, will scare the partner. I'm just assuming that when wolf made the "early wooing" that he wasn't even ready nor that he felt it was natural/right. Anyway, I didn't mean to come off as being offensive in "defying" your advices by calling it bullshit, but what I'm trying to do is to "hint" to wolf not to depend on the advices too much, as it has failed on him already. Your approach works in CERTAIN points of the friendship level, but not necessarily on every relationship. Same with "my" approach with taking time with things, it works with some and not with others. It's the reason I'm telling him that he's the only one who knows what's going on in his progressive chasing and to choose whichever method he feels is right.
bring questions abt the class or pretent u need help to see if she is interested in u first. then go from there. no point to wait ur time if she is not pay attention to u.
BigDumbAss, you just basically said the same shit you said in your previous meaningless post of this thread, retard. My signature is designated for people like you, do take a close read at it.
Ya I felt it was kind of rushed and I wanted to slow down abit before attempting to ask her out but then some of my friends and people said valentines day is coming up and such and such and and the girl ain't gonna wait around forever and she will start to lose interest in you if you don't act quickly. People also said to hint to her that I like her and stuff and make it more obvious so when I asked her out I tried to make it obvious and I guess that scared her. Also some of my friends said I should have followed her when she said she was going to library and stuff. So the next time when I got a chance I followed her but that didn't turn out too good either. Also that other guy chasing her also prompted me to move alot quicker and he really pissed me off too and there level of closeness also effected me mentally. I didn't understand how she is like still good friends and stuff with him after he screwed her over on the project they did together and she went outta her way to call him and meet up with him so he can get answers off her from our midterm whereas I help her with stuff and I don't screw her over yet she is acting cold towards me now. Also I'm not the type of guy who says all these flowery words and flatter the girls and stuff plus I'm shy and it takes time for people to get to know me and for me to get comfortable. When I'm comfortable I can have really good conversations and crack jokes and stuff and make people laugh but when I'm not comfortable enough I'm really quiet and it seems boring because I don't know what to say. Anyways can't really blame anyone but myself for listening to my friends advice in making it obvious and asking her out. I was really confused deciding which advice to take on the forum and from my friends. Some people said to do this while others said to do that. I didn't stick to what was working and instead did what was fatal. I guess I wanted to try the other method and see if it would improve my chances but it ended in disaster. On monday I think I'll just go with my instincts and test her and see how she acts. I'll go sit where I usually sit and see if she comes and sits with me. If she doesn't then I can forget about even considering becoming friends with her and move on because it doesn't even look like she wants to keep the friendship and I'll go sit with my friends from now on. I don't think there is any point in going and sitting with her when she clearly is trying to avoid me and asking her why she is avoiding me, it'll probably make it even worst and make me seem even more desperate. It'll probably be very weird from now on espeically on thursday when I got class with her and that other guy comes to our lab too. They'll be sitting together and saying stuff probably about why she ain't siitting with me anymore and I'll be sitting alone but lucky school is almost over so I guess if she chooses not to sit with me on monday I got all summer to forget about her and move on and hopefully find someone else.
I can only imagine how shitty it must've been to have everything going your way and it fucks up because you decided to do something more "adventurous," right? Think of it as a gain in experience.. it's not always a bad thing to "try something new." Anyway, I'm glad you're going to take your own approach at this.. go with the flow. Nothing can go wrong if you go at your own pace, in which you feel is natural and "right." The last thing you wanna be doing in such a case is filling yourself up with "choices" to make in dating her. We'll be waiting to hear the good news, wolf.
Good news? What good news? lol. So today I tested her by coming to class as usual and seeing if she will come and sit with me. Guess what? She didn't come and sit with me. Now this offically confirms it then, she is avoiding me now. So no point in sitting with her when she clearly doesn't want to be with me. So right now my strategy is to act like normal and pretend nothing happened. I think this strategy is good because: 1. I don't seem desperate and I don't act like how that other guy acts. Besides I hated acting like him and trying to follow her around and stuff. It felt weird and akward. He can continue clinging onto her if he wants to. Just like 2 weeks ago when she didn't show up to class and that guy came. As soon as he didn't see her in class he went outside and called someone most likely her and then during class he kept on checking his phone and after class was done he called someone. He's giving her plenty of attention and making it real easy for her. I ain't gonna do the same thing as him. I'm not gonna give her any attention until she gives me some attention back first. I've been nothing but nice and stuff to her and now she is treating me like crap and can't even say hi or anything? The more attention she craves the less I will give her. I think eventually she might start to wonder why I ain't giving her any more attention and then she will come and sit with me back. I'm gonna act normal and not desperate and sit where I usually sit everyweek. This gives her the opportunity to decide herself when she feels ready to come and sit with me again. If I go and sit with her right now, she will avoid me even more. 2. By not going and sitting with her and the less time we see each other I think over time I can move on and forget about her and concentrate on school. My grades have suffered big time because of her. So the way I see it with this strategy is a win/win scenario. Either she cracks and can't stand it anymore and trys to befriend me again or over time I forget about her and move on to someone else.
Good choice, wolf -- seems like you've learned a whole lot (in comparison to your previous actions). I would continue to talk to her though... when you get a chance to bump into her that is, exchange hello's, how are you's and continue on some convo. Talking to her normally as if nothing happened is definitely the way to go and will hopefully surprise her (she's probably expecting you to go nagging her asking her what's wrong and all that shit). Maybe when she walks into class (since you said you're always there before her), try to acknowledge and notice her... by eye-to-eye contact and then smile at her, or greet her, even. Just a sign of your friendliness toward her, still.
Well ya of course I will continue to talk to her if I happen to bump into her and stuff but I won't go outta my way to walk half way across the room just to talk to her. If we make eye-contact I'll say hi or nod my head but if she continues to ignore me and pretend to not see me then so be it. She is either right now wondering why I haven't asked her why she is acting like this towards me and is starting to crack or is really happy I ain't going outta my way to go sit with her and leaving her alone lol. So in the end whats yours is yours and whats not will never be yours. If its meant to happen it will and if it isn't then it won't. Well at least now I have my answer that she is indeed avoiding me but I still do not know why though. The two most likely scenarios I can think of is, either she is slow and it took her like 2-3 weeks to figure out that I asked her out. I made it pretty obvious so I don't know how she cannot know but getting to know her for these past couple of weeks, I do notice that there are some common things she doesn't know about. Like I was laughing at her because she didn't know how to set up an alarm clock lol. She said it was broken. She said she never took the bus before lol and a few other things. The second scenario I came up with was she was tipped off by someone on my facebook and I got a pretty good idea who did it too. That person asked me like 2 weeks ago if I wanted them to tell her that I liked her. I told them no. But the person is very emotionally unstable and I only spoke to them like 5-6 times on msn and I never even saw them in person before. I was introduced to them by a friend and even my friend says that person is whacked so that is my hunch. That person may have went ahead anyways and tipped them off which in that case I was fucked over by an idiot. That person I haven't seen online in like 2 weeks so I cannot even ask them if they did it or not. I emailed them like 2 days ago and have yet to receive a reply. Before that person used to come on msn like at least every other day but now all of a sudden they have disappeared. Anyways those are my suspiscions. If the second scenario is true, I can still salvage it. I can get the person to message her and saying how they lied about everything to get back at me for doing something bad to them or make up something else but if its the first case scenario then nothing I can do. I guess right now I just gotta sit back and wait it out. In time I will have the answer to everything.
Wolf, you are a brother in desperate need of help. By reading your posts, I have analyzed your thought process. How old are you btw? Is this the first time u seriously like someone? First you made a half ass rushed attempt for a girl and obviously I can tell that u weren't smooth about it. It's no secret that u probably scared the living daylights out of her. the words "creep" come to my mind already. Second, when you didn't succeed....instead of pursuing once again cause that's the girl you like. You turn to pathetic reasons like "it was never meant to be...." Trying to make yourself feel good. Then you try to find every little flaw about the girl and talk about them so it'd make you feel even better. When's the "feel good" stage going to end? What I suggest you do is to read some self help books to start before you even make more of a fool of yourself. You currently have no understanding on the laws of attraction. You aren't confident about yourself nor your own ablities (frankly you have none right now). Do yourself some good and pls retool your approach toward women. It's hard to learn anything vital here especially in a forum. Right now, you need more than an opinon. You need help!
It looks like your previous response is directed at DC003, since that spammer, mikeo2's posts got deleted, haha.
